Money, Fame, Glamour
by Taylor Shine
Summary: The high paced life of Hollywood seems nothing but money, glamor and fame. It's more than that to Alex M Kross, to her it's a fancy excuse for loosing privacy. Alex is tired of being fake for the cameras. Will she be able to let go of caring about the public that watches her life and embrace the life that she has been given?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

I was tired of being primped and told to wear form fitting gowns and shoving my feat into sky-high stilettos. Being who I was, I didn't have much of a choice. So I didn't complain when Kendall opened the backseat door of the limousine for me. Smiling a true smile, something I didn't do very often, I stepped in to the long, slick black vehicle. Kendall stepped in behind me and our driver of twelve years Mason shut the door behind him.

Before I go on, I must make one thing very clear I have no problems with my boyfriend of five years. The fame that Kendall brought with him is what makes our lives together difficult. I want to also say that when we got together I wasn't completely foreign to the aspect of fame. No, I wasn't an actor or singer, both of which Kendall is. I got a soft taste of fame by making it big as an author. That's all I had ever really wanted was to be known for my writing. Now I can't even escape the paparazzi.

I stared at the perfect manicure that sat on my hands. Every french-tipped nail completely even. The makeup that my stylists plastered on my face felt heavy. Even though in reality I could barely feel it on my skin. Bethany, the only stylist that I hadn't allowed some manager or company replace, had redyed my hair so that it stayed the soft honey blonde that the public had come to recognize as being my staple hair color. She had also curled, twisted, and pinned it into place in a relaxed mess on the top of my head.

The woman that worked in wardrobe stuck me in a flattering yet slightly uncomfortable formfitting silver dress that stopped a couple of inches above my knees. Black stilettos had been shoved on my feet and the straps felt like they had been fastened slightly too tight. The expensive jewelry felt heavy as it hung from my ears, neck and wrist. As I had countless times before in this limousine I wondered whether I would be happier with a normal life. No red carpets, no special features in tabloid magazines, no picture perfect persona.

I think about that until I'm reminded that if I didn't have to deal with it I wouldn't have Kendall. I couldn't even give up what was killing me inside just so that I could keep the one person that helped me stay together. Shaking my head I pressed the palm of my head to my flawless forehead. I made sure I didn't touch my eyes if I did that the makeup would smear and that wouldn't be very perfect. Kendall wrapped his arm around my waist. I looked over at him forcing a smile to spread on my lips. He saw through it, he always did. I could fool everyone but him and the harder I tried to live the lifestyle that I had been thrust into the harder it became to actually allow myself to feel something other than fake.

"I'm sorry for dragging you to this premiere," Kendall apologized, "if I had had my way you would still be at home wearing one of two things sweat pants and a tank, or impossibly short shorts with a sweat shirt." I smiled a real smile and he spoke again before I could speak. "There's that smile," he kissed my nose and I giggled. Kendall wrapped his arms around my waist and I let my head rest on his shoulder. If Mason didn't reach the red carpet and we just kept driving I would have been fine. I let go of that thought knowing that one, Mason didn't miss his destination and two I should be used to having cameras shoved in my face. A fan wanting a picture I was fine with I loved my fans, even though they normally didn't want a picture they wanted me to sign their copy of Struck. Paparazzi wanting thirty snapshots of me for a tabloid made my stomach churn. They didn't care about me, my name wasn't even the heading above the pictures they plaster of me in the tabloids.

I'd gotten used to walking into the drugstore and seeing the magazine wracks covered with magazines that had a picture of me and Kendall on the front cover with large headings that were so off on what was actually happening in the photograph it could have been comical. I got the feeling Kendall was watching me, unsure of what to say. I knew that we were reaching whatever it was that we were going to and pulled myself out of my thoughts.

I really needed to start to focus on the positive. I might not be able to change the lack of privacy or people knowing and tracking my every move but I could try and look on the bright side. If I could find one mind you. I'd finally relinquished the thought of having a normal life again, when the limousine pulled up to a huge building that was swamped with people.

"Am I going to know anybody here?" I asked Kendall before we stepped out of the vehicle. When I let my mind roll like I just had I forgot about what I was riding in the limousine for.

"You'll know at least three," he answers with a smile and takes my hand just as Mason opens the door for us. As soon as the cameras begin to flash I paste a smile on my face. Kendall wraps his arm around my waist and leads me down the red carpet. The paparazzi had at least learned to not shove microphones in my face. They probably figured that if they didn't want them thrown across the parking lot that waiting and asking me for an interview one on one was the smarter thing to do. We stopped and posed for the cameras. After the photographers that crowded around the beginning of the red carpet had taken what we decided were enough pictures, Kendall lead me farther up the walk. I saw scattered groups of teenage girls standing behind the black rope and continued leading Kendall in the direction that I wanted to go. I loved fans, especially when they could bring relief from the wonderful cameras and microphones that were being kept a good distance away from me.

When the group of teenage girls that I had seen first and was pulling Kendall towards saw us they began to shriek. Both Kendall and I had become accustomed to the noise and I had finally stopped shuddering when it began. He began to walk slightly in front of me smiling like he always does when he consults fans. I stopped him for a second before we reached them and handed him the sharpie that I carried in whatever purse or handbag I was carrying at the time. People always wanted an autograph they just didn't always have a pen. So I began carrying one. Before you ask why I didn't give it to Kendall, the answer is simple I hand him a pen, sharpie, pencil you name it and you will never see it again. I'm not exactly sure how he manages to loose them so easily but he does and I've stopped questioning his amazing talent.

He takes it and I whisper, "don't loose this one, the people at Office Max are going to start wondering why I'm always in there buying black sharpies by the hand full," my voice was light and I was happy. I figured that I could be myself if I didn't care about what was caught on camera. For this premiere, at least, I could try to show these heartless privacy invaders the real me. The one that got me to where I am. The same one that I had been trying to hide in order to be perfect for the camera. Well I was tired of hiding.

I stayed a few steps behind Kendall as he took pictures and signed autographs. That's what I normally did it made me happy to see that meeting one person could make someones year. If the other three boys were with me I would have probably pushed them in the same direction. Not that they wouldn't have gone to sign autographs anyway. I just sometimes could get them in one general area so their fans could meet more than one of them. I was surprised when I heard my name being called. Normally I would have ignored it knowing that it was someone with a microphone and privacy invading questions. But this voice didn't sound like an interviewer and trust me you can tell who wants to get you for an interview and a fan who might want an autograph or picture. Another odd thing was, I recognized the voice.

"Alex," said the voice, "please turn around." hearing my name again I turned around complying with the persons request. I looked over my shoulder expecting to see someone around my height. I didn't and it confused me. I turned around completely and looked down.

"Amanda," I asked and the little girl in front of me looked up, "where are your mom and dad?" she looked up at me with big brown eyes. Her light brown, almost auburn hair bouncing in curls around her shoulders. She pointed behind her down the isle at James and Lauren who were standing, smiling, arms wrapped around each other.

"Why aren't you with them?" I asked kneeling down to pick her up.

She wrapped her tiny arms around my neck and answered, "I haven't seen you in a long time and wanted to say hi."

"You saw me just last week," I reminded her smiling.

"And that is a long time ago," she insisted looking me in the eye as she kept a straight face. I smiled again and Amanda smiled with me.

I twirled one of her many curls around my finger, "your hair is very pretty tonight."

She beamed and happily accepted the complement, "thank you, mommy did it for me, I like your dress it's shiny."

"You're very welcome, and thank you I like your dress too."

"Someone named Sharron picked it out for me, she said that it matched mommy's and that it would look cute if we matched," Amanda told me as she looked down at her thin strapped dress with a thick black band around the middle. I noticed that she was wasn't wearing any shoes and asked her about it, raising my eyebrows in a slightly comical manner that made Amanda giggle.

"What happened to your shoes?"

"Daddy's carrying them," Amanda informed me, wiggling her toes.

"Why aren't you wearing them?" I asked.

"Because, Aunt Alex, they were squeezing my toes and I didn't like walking in them. So daddy told me that I didn't have to put them back on until we went into the building," she explained.

"Good, I thought your mom and dad let you leave the house without any shoes."

"They only do that when we don't have to be famous people," she added. I didn't figure I would tell her that her parents were famous even when they weren't going to Hollywood parties. James and Lauren obviously didn't want Amanda knowing about the twisted web of fame that she was born into yet. I certainly was not going to be the one who told her that she was different from the people on the other side of the black rope.

I don't say that to sound like I believe that celebrities were better than people who were allowed to keep their privacy. In fact I envy the people who call themselves nobodies. Sometimes I wish I could have the privilege to call myself that again, like I had earlier this evening. I will never understand why people believe that celebrities are so different from them and most of all why they envy us for being the center of attention.

"Do you like it when you have to be a famous person?" I asked Amanda smiling.

"Sometimes but I don't like the people with cameras or all of the screaming and why do people always want autographs from my parents," she answered. "Do you like it when you have to be a famous person?"

"Sometimes, and I'll tell you a secret, I don't like the people with the cameras either."

"You don't?" Amanda asked surprised, "I thought I was the only one everyone else always talks to them."

"Did you find your friend?" James asked Amanda walking up to us managing to startle me.

Amanda looked over at him, "Yes, where's mommy?"

"Mommy's coming over now," James answered his daughter, "you've got to put your shoes back on now."

"Why," Amanda questioned him.

"Because we are going in soon and your mom and I don't want you walking around there bare foot," answered James even though he knew that Amanda already knew the answer to her question. James put Amanda's white sandals on the floor and I set her down next to them. Reluctantly she shoved her feet into the sandals.

"You know Amanda," I began as I bended down to her level, "I'll tell you another secret. I don't like my shoes either."

"You don't," she asked looking me in the eye.

"No, so since I have to wear my shoes can you promise me that you'll keep yours on until it's time for you to go home?"

Amanda smiled, "yeah."

"You know what, for being such a good sport with me how would you like to go with me some time next week to get our nails done?"

The little girl grinned, "you mean it Aunt Alex?"

"Of course I mean it Amanda." I stood up and looked over at Lauren who had just walked up.

"What'd you tell her?" asked James as I gave him a hug.

"I told her that I didn't like my shoes either and since I had to wear mine I asked her if she would wear hers. She said that she would and then I told her that sometime next week I'd take her to get her nails done."

"You know Alex, you're the only one who can get Amanda to wear something that she doesn't like," complemented Lauren as I gave her a hug.

"I'm sure it's just because I'm not you or James," I pointed out simply then walked over to Kendall who was still signing autographs and taking pictures. One of the girls that was holding onto the black rope looked at me.

"Excuse me," she began and I walked over to her, "I know that most of the girls here are wanting to get a photo or autograph from Big Time Rush, but would you mind signing my copy of Struck?" The girl held her copy of Struck out for me to see and I walked over to Kendall.

"Give me the sharpie," I told him and he handed it over. I walked the few steps I had to take toward the girl.

"I don't mean to bother you," the girl began and I smiled.

"You're not bothering me," I promised her, "I love it when people who are fans of my book ask me to sign it," I took the book from her, "what's your name, hun?"

"Annabelle," replied the girl. I smiled at her again and then wrote in my messy scrawl:

_Dear Annabelle, _

_I'm so glad you like my book and look out for sequel. As long as I have fans like you I will keep writing and hope that you cherish my stories as much as I think they suck until I see them in print and watch them fly off the shelves._

_ Love,_

_ Alex M Kross_

_Remember, you mean and are just as important to me as Jackie High. Keep reading!_

I closed the book and handed it back to Annabelle. She opened the front cover and read it. Annabelle shut the book and put it back into her bag. She then looked up at me.

"Thank you so much," Annabelle gushed.

"Do you want a hug?" I asked her and she nodded yes. I reached over the black rope and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Thank you again," Annabelle repeated after I had pulled back, "my friends are never going to believe that I met you and that you actually signed my book."

"Well if I'm ever having a book signing close to you feel free to stop in and say hello." I smile once more at Annabelle then turn my attention to Kendall. He finished signing his last autograph then followed me over to where James and Lauren stood with Amanda. Kendall gave James this one armed hug thing, and then hugged Lauren formally.

"Did you forget about me?" asked Amanda when it came across to her that Kendall may have forgotten that she was standing there.

"I could never forget you, Amanda," he promised as he bent down to pick her up.

"When can I come over again, Uncle Kendall?" she asks as she wraps her arms around his neck.

"I don't know, I think that you'd have to ask your mom and dad that," he replied setting her back down. Someone came up behind me and covered my eyes. I jumped up not knowing who it was since Kendall was standing next to me.

"Have you missed me?" asked an upbeat voice that I immediately detected as Carlos's.

"Dammit, Carlos," I scolded, "you scared me."

"Sorry," he apologized not sounding like he meant it. There were three things Carlos loved and they went in this order, singing, acting, and scaring the shit out of me. The fourth member of Big Time Rush came up behind me and lifted me off the ground. Knowing that it couldn't be anybody but Logan, I didn't bother freaking out. Instead I went along for the ride as he tossed me over his shoulder in a fireman's hold. I was the youngest out of them all at the mere age of twenty. Kendall was next at the age of twenty-two, then it came Carlos and Logan both twenty-four, and finally there was James at the age of twenty-five and Lauren, James's wife, at twenty-three.

To James I was his little sister and he acted like the big brother I never had. I'd been friends with the guys long before it got serious between me and Kendall, and when we started dating James sat his best friend down and told him that if he hurt me he would have to deal with him. James and I both knew that Kendall would never do anything to hut me but had to say it at the time anyway. Carlos and Logan were next on the line of treating me like a child. They basically found fun in pranking, teasing, and scaring me. They also enjoyed making fun of the little things, but if anybody else did the same they became as protective as James. I had been in the picture before Lauren and she understood the attachment I had toward her husband. She had actually made me a brides made in their wedding because we had become friends very quickly.

Logan still hadn't put me down and no one had bothered to intervene. "So are you giving me a ride into the building or what?" I asked him.

"No," he replied setting me down, "I think you can walk."

I smoothed my dress and looked at him and Carlos. "You know what I need to do?" I asked them not waiting long enough for them to say anything before I answered my own question, "I need to get you two girlfriends so that you have someone else to mess with."

"Yeah," they agreed in unison, "you really should." Rolling my eyes, I walk over to Kendall grab his hand and start walking the rest of the red carpet with him. Cameras flashed and I gave the photographers my wonderful fake smile. Kendall smiles too, I just don't know if it is fake like mine. The security guards, both of whom I recognized as body guards for Big Time Rush, ushered us into the building. Once inside it was quiet which made my ears ring since they had become accustom to the loudness of outside. James, Lauren, Amanda, Carlos, and Logan entered shortly after us. I kept my hold on Kendall's hand and began walking over to a couch that I had spotted against the wall. Since no one was snapping pictures, well except for friends and possibly family. Security kept paparazzi and crazed fans out.

At least this premier didn't have public invite. I mean the celebrity events that had public invite cost extravagant amounts of money unless your on invite or have connections. Slowly the rest of the producers, managers, promoters and CEO of Big Time Rush filed in. Once they finished entering the not boring people started coming in. Friends, co-stars, family, and a respected news crew filled the building. Big Time Rush's third album went platinum and the guys were being presented with their platinum records today.

Even though a couple of the guests pretended to not watch as I pulled Kendall toward the couch, I continued to ignore them. Kendall sat down first and I dropped down next to him. His arm wrapped tightly around my waist and I stretched my legs out along the rest of the couch. I dropped my head down on his lap and closed my eyes. Kendall rubbed my back in between my shoulder blades. I sighed and my body relaxed to his touch. If the event wasn't what it was I wouldn't have even taken him to the couch in the first place. But I knew everyone attending and didn't care if they saw. As long as two specific boys kept their cellphones in their pockets we'd be fine. I think that Carlos and Logan knew that I would break their two hundred dollar phones if they tried to black mail me with pictures of me and Kendall again.

Apparently my mind and theirs are on different wave lengths because my eyes opened to a camera flash. Once the black spots cleared I saw the picture snapping culprit: a devilishly grinning Logan. He turned his phone around so that I could see the picture. When Logan saw that I had no intention of moving he walked over.

"You're not going to kill me?" he asked. When Logan had gotten close enough I could see the picture. He must have been standing pretty far back since the entire couch was in the picture. That meant we were also completely visible. The worst Logan would do with the picture was post it on his private Facebook page so that all of his friends could see it.

"Oh, I'm going to kill you," I promised, "I'm just really comfortable right now."

"You've gotten soft," he commented, "normally you'd have gotten up and you'd be chasing me around right now. You wouldn't have even used the high heel thing as an excuse, you'd have taken them off."

"One, I promised Amanda that we'd both keep our uncomfortable shoes on for the entire premier, two I'm comfortable, and three if I've gotten soft then hand over your phone."

"Sure, whatever," Logan stupidly set his phone in my open hand.

"First I said," clicking into the options button on the picture, "I'm deleting the picture," I pressed delete before Logan could lunge for his phone. "Second, catch," I threw his phone toward him silently hoping it crashed to the floor. It wasn't like he couldn't afford a new one. Logan caught his trouble some gadget. It didn't even slip out of his grasp.

"I can always take another picture," he threatened holding the phone up.

"And you're not going to do anything with it. I think we've established that black mail doesn't work on me."

"It used to."

"And it doesn't any more you never complete your threats." Not knowing how to continue the argument Logan walked away muttering something about Kendall and I needing to get a room.

"You wouldn't happen to know what time this thing starts, would you?" I called after him.

Logan didn't even look over his shoulder, "that's your problem. Get off your boyfriend and lazy ass and go ask someone that's in charge of this thing."

I looked up at Kendall, who looked down at me. It took me a second to remember the smart ass comment I wanted to make since I had developed the habit of getting lost in his emerald green eyes, "how much trouble do you think I'd get in if I went up and punched your asshole of a friend?"

"None by me, I don't think that James and Carlos would care, well you know Scott, Dustin would probably help you, shall I go on?" was his answer and I smiled.

"You people are so mean to each other."

"It's not like you have room to talk. You just asked for permission to punch Logan and tried to break his phone," Kendall remarked smirking. I stuck my tong out at him and made no move to get up. Like I had told Logan, I really was comfortable and when I was comfortable I didn't move from my position easily.

"Are you going to go punch Logan?" he asked draping his arm over my waist. Already guessing my answer.

"No, but do you know when they are going to start the long boring speeches before they give you four your award and then finally start passing out the liquor?"

"Sometimes I think that you only allow yourself to be dragged along to paparazzi infested Hollywood parties is because there is a ninety-nine percent chance you are going to get free alcohol," Kendall mused looking down at me again smiling.

"You know me so well," I complemented him reaching up to wrap my arms around his neck. He smiled and kissed me. Five years and I still wasn't used to the feel of his lips on mine. I began to believe that I never would as I pulled away slightly to tell him something that didn't need to be muffled by his lips. "Seriously, I'm happy for you baby, and the other three idiots."

He kissed me again, "so I'm not an idiot?"

"No," I smiled against his lips, "you're my idiot."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"Can I get everyone's attention please?" announced Bradly Cooper, or as I call him the CEO of everything. He owned Big Time Rush and every single little thing that went along with it. He honestly wasn't that bad of a guy, I just didn't like him. Maybe it was because he joked about owning the four boys too much or because his speeches were too long. A silence fell over the many people and they turned their attention toward Bradly. Reluctantly I turned away from Kendall to see what one of his bosses had to say. He wrapped his arms around my waist as I stared Bradly in the eye almost daring him to start his speech the same way that he had the last time. I knew that he was going to but one look from me made him improvise. We both weren't big fans of each other and he was scared of me.

"Get on with it!" I yelled making sure my voice sounded lighthearted. No one bothered to look at me pretty much everyone in the building was used to me making a comment when Bradly was standing at the microphone.

"Because I do not want to die, I am going to start my speech off like this and keep it short. I suggest that everyone after me does the same if you want to stay on Miss. Kross's good side. I want to congratulate Kendall, James, Carlos and Logan for making their third album go platinum and now I'm handing the mic to Scott." Bradly handed the microphone to Scott and basically ran off the stage.

"I'm not one to talk much," began Scott, "and this really doesn't have anything to do with me. I direct the guy's television show and have no affiliation with the recording company and I never want any. I'm here to congratulate them and I'm done now who wants to take this from me?"

"I will," says Maggie Big Time Rush's producer, I have no problems with her either. Especially since she lets me regularly sit in on recording sessions when I have nothing else to do. Maggie steps onto the stage and takes the mic from Scott who jumps down and walks over to the bartender, who isn't allowed to serve drinks until this is over, and tries to bribe him with a twenty. The young bartender won't take the bribe and Maggie intervenes. "First off, Scott, if Alex can wait for this to be over to get a beer then you don't need to bother the bartender. Put the twenty away and leave him alone. Second I'd congratulate Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan if I wasn't going to first say, you four can singlehandedly make make me go insane. Out of you all the only two I like aren't even part of the band, Alex, Lauren I don't know how you deal with the two that you claim ownership over. Even with all of the pranks, antics, and just stupidity I have to thank these young men for all of the hard work they put into what they do." For her next sentence, Maggie, looked directly into the camera, "you normally only hear this from them but they really do love their fans." She looked out over the crowd, "okay, I need those four to come up here now."

The first two up there were Carlos and Logan. Second was Kendall after I kissed him on the cheek and followed him to the front of the stage. He climbed up deciding in a split second that he was going to bring me with him. Kendall wrapped his arms around my waist so I couldn't get off the stage. James came up last, holding Amanda who had her arms wrapped around his neck. Lauren followed him. Maggie smiled, as she took the four plaques from a man standing next to her. She handed them out to their owners, except for James's she handed his to Lauren since James was already holding Amanda.

"Do any of you want to say anything?" Maggie asked holding the microphone out to them. Kendall took it from her and looked into the camera.

"I know I speak for the rest of the guys when I say thank you to the fans, with out you we wouldn't have these records or jobs," he smiled into the camera once more before handing the microphone back to Maggie. James would have normally said something but didn't have a hand to hold the microphone. The camera crew shut their cameras off signaling they were done. It took the news people around five minuets to be packed up and out the door. When they were gone I took the microphone from Maggie.

"Okay, now that the guys have gotten their awards can you please let me and Scott have our liquor?" I asked the crowed and they laughed. I knew what I said had been funny but I was also serious. They had gotten their records now someone was going to give me alcohol.

Maggie smiled and took the microphone from me, "Alex is right, the bar is now open and we will have food out shortly." Without anyone having to say anything all the three boys and Lauren walked over to Jackson. Jackson is the head security guard for Big Time Rush and also held anything of value that you gave to him at a party and made sure it got back to you. They dropped the plaques off for him to watch and I took Kendall's hand. We headed over to the bar and I ordered a bottle of Miller Light. I cracked it open and took a long swig of beer. We hadn't talked about it but Kendall knew to cut me off before I got totally hammered. The good thing was neither of us had to be the designated driver that was Mason's job. Kendall didn't however order anything to drink but watched me polish off my beer in less than five minuets. I hadn't had anything to eat that day so the liquor went straight to me. I was going to order another Miller Light when Kendall pulled me away from the bar.

"Why'd you do that?" I asked tripping over my feet finding it hard to keep my balance in these shoes.

"Because," he answered holding me up, "you have to eat something before you have anymore to drink."

"Why?"

"So you don't get any worse than this." Kendall set me back down on the couch and grabbed James, who had handed Amanda over to Lauren. He turned to his friend, "please watch Alex for a minuet, she had beer and nothing to eat."

James sat down next to me and looked up at Kendall, "how is it I pass my daughter to my wife and get stuck babysitting Alex? I don't mind but it really makes me wonder, am I allowed to have any thing to drink at parties those two attend."

"I won't be long," promised Kendall walking toward the food.

James turned to me, "you know we talked about this the last time I got the job of babysitting you. What did I say about you not drinking before you have something to eat?"

"I don't remember," was my slightly slurred response as I laid my head on his shoulder.

"Well you need to," James informed me even though he knew that I had stopped listening.

"Which one are you?" I asked temporally forgetting who it was I was leaning against.

"James," he replied.

"Oh, good, I like you."

"I'm glad to know that even though you wouldn't be saying it if you were sober." Kendall sat down on the other side of me holding a plate of food. James got up and I slumped over onto Kendall.

"Are you sure she didn't sneak a flask in here or something?" he asks, "she couldn't remember who was sitting next to her."

"I've been with Alex the entire time I know she didn't sneak liquor in here," Kendall confirmed.

"Then there was something in the beer that she drank," James mused as he walked away into the crowd.

"Come on," coaxed Kendall as he held the plate of food out to me, "eat." When I wouldn't take the plate and silverware, he stabbed something with a fork and held it up to my mouth. "If you won't eat this out of your own free will then I'll feed it to you and I don't care that we are in public." I looked him with a glazed look in my eyes that was caused by alcohol as I tried to decide if what he said what a threat to embarrass me in public. Deciding that it was I took the fork and plate from him and stuffed my mouth with food.

"Happy now?" I asked through a mouth full of chicken and mashed-potatoes.

"Yes," he answered kissing me on my forehead. "You should be back to yourself once some of that beer in your stomach is replaced with food."

I'd finished the plate that Kendall had brought me and twenty some minuets later I was feeling tired, slightly nauseous, but other than that normal. Kendall had managed to pull me off the couch and get me to talk with some people attending. I strayed from him and met up with Kathy, Kendall's mother.

"Hey," exclaimed Kathy as she grabbed my shoulders to keep me from falling on my face, "you need to be more careful," she warned and then decided to ask, "how many beers have you had?"

I laughed at her question, "two, one when they first opened the bar and another a couple of minuets ago. How's it been?"

"Crazy, you?" Kathy replied with a smile.

"Same, there's never a dull moment having to follow your son around all day making sure he doesn't get in trouble."

"Is he being a problem?" Kathy asked smiling.

"You could say that, just a couple days ago I had to bribe him just to go Kroger with me," I laughed remembering the ironic incident. "Once we did manage to get to the Kroger he had to run around the store like a little kid messing up the shelves."

Kathy just shook her head and rolled her eyes, she looked up at me smiling, "that's Kendall for you. Used to do the same thing when he was five, it's nice to know he hasn't changed."

"You only say that because chasing him around Kroger isn't your responsibility anymore," I accused.

"There is truth to that statement," she admitted and then told me something I'd heard many times before from her. "I know that I've told you this before but out of all the girlfriends Kendall has had you are my favorite and I don't say that lightly."

"Well I have my reasons for keeping him around," I told her slyly. Kendall came up behind me and clasped his hands around my waist. I jumped slightly but he kept my feet planted firmly on the ground.

"And what are you two ladies talking about?" Kendall asked as he hugged me from behind pulling me against his chest.

I looked up at him smiling as I pressed the back of my head against his chest and answered him, "you."

"Should I be worried?" he asked tightening his arms around my waist.

"I don't know should you?" I asked, "I was just telling you mom about our little trip to Kroger last week." He smiled obviously reenacting the events that took place that day in his head.

"That was fun," he stated.

"No that almost got us kicked out of Kroger," I paused remembering the managers sharply spoken words, "for good. I was afraid they were going to take our picture and pin it to the _Never Let these People in the Store_ bulletin board."

"What exactly happened?" Kathy asked me leaning against the wall.

"You want me to start from the beginning?" I asked her leaning back into Kendall over being mad at him for what happened.

"Yes, I could do with a good story about my son's misbehavior that I'm not the one telling."

"Alright then. I'll leave out what happened at the house since it wasn't much more than me shoving him into the car. He followed me around for about ten minuets, got board and started wondering around the store. I was in the produce section when the store manager walks up to me dragging Kendall with him by the arm. I look up and the red-faced manager asked me if I was the one in charge of him. I said yes and was told that I had to keep him with me at all times or wasn't allowed in the store with him." Kendall laughed and I looked at him trying to jab him in the stomach with my elbow but he had too good of a hold on me.

"What was he doing?" asked Kathy laughing.

"Bothering costumers, messing with stock, throwing random things in carts," I answered her trying not to laugh.

Kathy looked at Kendall and tried to speak in a serious tone, "if you had been with me you'd have been in so much trouble."

"I never would have done that if I'd been with you," Kendall told his mother.

"Oh great, I'm special," I remarked sarcastically.

"Yes you are," Kendall agreed as he kissed my forehead.

I squinted at him, "don't kiss me I'm mad at you again," I stated glaring at Kendall. Kathy shook her head smiling as she rolled her eyes.

"You're in trouble now," she scolded Kendall as she walked away. I didn't bother to break out of his embrace but did dodge his lips when he tried kissing me again.

"I'm still mad at you," I pouted.

"You're not mad," Kendall corrected as he tried to kiss me again.

"Yes I am," I insisted.

"Then how can I make you forgive me," he asked playing along.

"I don't know," I began turning around in his arms so that I was facing him. Even in the incredibly tall heels Kendall was taller than me and I had to look up so that I could look in his eyes. "For starters you can get me a beer."

"You aren't having anymore alcohol tonight," he told me and his hands dropped down to my hips.

"Why not?" I asked him placing my hands on his shoulders.

"Because I don't need a drunk girlfriend," he replied and I pondered his answer for a couple of seconds before deciding to drop the subject of me getting a third beer.

"Why are you so tall?" I asked Kendall, and he laughed.

"I'm not tall you're just really short," this time when he went to kiss me I locked my lips with his.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Neither Kendall or I made any move to pull out of the kiss. His hands tightened around me and I dug my fingers through his hair. I expected to be told any minuet by someone to get a room. My expectations were met by Dustin who walked over to us holding a red plastic cup that was most likely filled half-way with beer.

"Why must you two make-out in public all the time?" Dustin slurred as he struggled to stand straight.

Kendall pulled away and addressed his long time friend, "how much have you had to drink?"

"Not much," Dustin slurred staggering forward and Kendall caught him by the shoulder.

He took the plastic cup from his friend, "you are officially cut off."

"Dude, give me back my beer," Dustin requests reaching for his cup, which Kendall holds out of his reach. He walks over to the nearest garbage can and drops the half-full cup into it. I led Dustin over to a chair and set him down before he had the chance to fall. He sat down and dropped his head into his hands just as Kendall walked back over. I looked at him then at Dustin then back to Kendall.

"What should we do with him?" I ask looking back over at Dustin who was almost falling off the chair. I stepped forward and pushed him back upright.

"Dustin, Dustin, hey buddy," says Kendall snapping his finger in front of Dustin's face. He looks up his eyes blood shot, "how'd you get here?"

"I'm not that drunk."

"Yes you are, now can you answer my question?"

"What question?"

Kendall took a deep breath, loosing patience with his drunk friend, "how'd you get here?"

"I drove."

"Alright," I interjected, "would you like us to give you a ride home when it's time to leave?"

"I'm not that drunk, I can drive," Dustin insisted and I looked to Kendall for help.

"You are not driving tonight," Kendall informed him.

"Alright," Dustin agreed looking down at the floor.

James came up and with out looking at the person sitting in the chair asked Kendall, "have you seen Dustin?"

"Try looking down," Kendall offered and James took his suggestion.

"There he is," sighed James with obvious relief.

"Do you know how he got here?" I asked James not totally believing Dustin's answer due to his intoxicated state.

"Yeah he came with his girlfriend Amber, she's been looking for him for over an hour," James told me before he looked down at Big Time Rush's lead guitarist, "come on buddy, Amber's waiting she's going to take you home."

"Amber came with me?" Dustin asks James who nods and holds out a hand for Dustin to take, which he does. James helps him stand up and then makes sure he doesn't fall over. Amber comes over followed by Lauren who is now carrying Amanda.

Amber notices her boyfriend first and walks over to him, "where have you been?" she asks him, Dustin doesn't have an answer, "I've been looking every where for you. James would you please take him out to the car, it should be out front, if not have the valet bring it around, here's the little slip thing the guy gave me saying that I had to have it to get my car back."

"Come on Dustin, you're going to go sit in the car," James told him as he began leading Dustin towards the front doors, where ever that was. Amber raked her fingers through her dark red hair and turned around to see me. She smiled and let her hair fall back in place.

"Alex, sorry I didn't see you," she apologizes walking over to me, I give her a quick hug, as she continues to talk. "I've just been looking for Dustin ever since he wandered off. James and Lauren began to help me, I'm just so glad it was you and Kendall who found him."

"He actually found us," I told her.

"Its been nice seeing you again but I better go relieve James and take Dustin home. He's going to have a killer hangover tomorrow," Amber tells us before making her way back through the crowd toward the front doors. Lauren looked over at me smiling then she also disappears into the crowd also, most likely going to look for James. I turn back to Kendall and wrap my arms around his neck again.

His hands slide around my waist as I ask him one question, "now, where were we?" I twist my fingers in his hair and he leans down resting his forehead against mine. I expected him to kiss me instead of answering my question with words and that's just what he did. My eyes closed and I leaned into him. I felt Kendall's fingers press into my back. He pulled back slightly the feel of his lips lingering on mine. I pressed my face into his chest keeping my eyes closed and he rested his chin on the top of my head.

"You want to go sit down?" he asked me.

"Yeah, I'm tired of standing," was my reply and Kendall led me over to an unoccupied couch. He sat down and I curled up on his lap. He wrapped his arms around me and I closed my eyes again resting my head against his chest. My hair began to bother me as it slowly came loose and I started to pull the bobby pins out of it. Kendall noticed what I was doing and took over, carefully pulling the pins out just as I had combing chunks of my hair with his fingers. He did this until my hair fell freely around my shoulders, and then Kendall continued to run his finger through it.

"Why don't you let your hair grow out?" he asked me, studying the honey-blonde color that I'd been keeping my hair. His question caught me off guard. I didn't like lying to him at all, but at times like this I didn't have much of a choice because I didn't like the truth myself. I kept my hair the blonde for publicity and if I didn't like that answer then Kendall was going to hate it. I had about three seconds to come up with a convincing lie.

"What do you mean, I think that it's pretty long?" I bargained keeping my voice happy.

Kendall chuckled, "you know that's not what I mean. I liked it when your hair was brown it didn't match mine so well."

"I don't know I kind of like my hair blonde," I claimed smiling up at him, getting lost in his emerald eyes for the second time that night. Kendall leaned down and kissed me again. I ran my fingers through his thick, golden hair letting it fall through my fingers. It's amazing the way he can just end a conversation that he doesn't have an answer by kissing me. Hes even managed to end arguments this way. I dropped my lips from his and rested my head on his shoulder. I buried my face in his neck and Kendall began rub my shoulders. I was rarely happy at these parties but for this one I made an exception. No one was bothering me and Kendall and that was just fine.

Normally I had interviewers coming from left and right being their loud, inconsiderate annoying selves. We had good security at this one so that didn't happen, and everyone attending didn't care about what Kendall and I did. I wasn't sure about the time but knew that when it was time to go someone would be ushering the both of us out the front doors and into our limousine. I managed to surprise myself, by not wanting to leave just yet. Even though I think that my not wanting to leave had something to do with the shoulder rub I was receiving.

**(A/N) sorry if it seems rushed I had some writers block. Please review! I'll keep putting new chapters up if people are willing to read them. Yeah, I'm going to keep writing chapters even if nobody reads them, even though I hope that they do! Again please review tell me what you think. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**(A/N) I know that chapter three was rushed and maybe kind of crappy but I hope this one is better! Please read and review!**

Chapter Four

Kendall and I were both sitting in the back seat of Mason's limousine. It was actually ours but Mason had taken ownership of it and called it his. I guess in retrospect Mason had his reasons for calling the vehicle his. He was the one that took care of it and told us when it started breaking down so that we could pay to have it fixed. Mason wasn't this sweet old guy that he thought that he was but we'd come to accept him over the years. More or less he'd come to accept me. Mason had been Kendall's driver long before he had to drive us both around.

"Is she sleeping yet?" came Mason's voice from the cab. I was kind of slipping falling in and out of conscientiousness and I personally think that he and Kendall had money on the fact that I would fall asleep before we reached our house. Kendall had his arm wrapped around my shoulders and I yawned before answering Mason just by speaking I answered his question.

"No Mason, this is the fifth time you've asked. How much money do you have on me falling asleep?" I asked then waited for a response.

Mason decided on exclaiming, "I would never do such a thing," and I shook my head smiling.

"Come on, how much? I'm feeling pretty tired right now."

"Alright there's fifty bucks on the table," Mason admits, "Kendall thinks you'll stay awake and I think that you're going to pass out because that's what you love to do at two in the morning." He waits for a response that won't come and then asks, "Alex?"

"She's sleeping," Kendall answers as he pulls a fifty out of his wallet and hands it to Mason through the divider that was almost always left down. Unless Mason got tired of listening to us, then he rolled it up.

"It was a pleasure doing business with you sir," says Mason smiling.

"I need to stop making bets with you," Kendall mutters to himself as he sits back down careful not to wake me. I slouch in his direction and roll onto his lap. Kendall keeps me from rolling onto the floor. When Mason stops in front of our house, Kendall lifts me up in his arms and the next time I wake up, I'm laying tucked into bed Kendall sleeping next to me, holding me in his arms. I look over at the digital clock that sits on the nightstand on my side of the bed. The glowing numbers read seven thirty. I drop my head back down to the pillow and close my eyes. Within minuets I've fallen back to sleep.

I wake a second time around noon. Amazingly Kendall is still sleeping. I carefully craw out of his embrace and softly drop my bare feet to the cold, hard wood floor that stretched across the bedroom floor. Looking down I realized I'd been changed into my favorite pair of boxers and large, black tee shirt that I had borrowed from Kendall and never gave back. Not that it mattered since we lived in the same house. I shoved my feet into my slippers and tip-toed to the door. I opened it slowly and stepped out closing it as quietly as I could behind me. My feet padded along the carpeted hallway as I made my way to the bathroom. I opened the bathroom door and the blinding sun hit me in the eyes making me squint. I dug around with one hand in the top drawer under the bathroom sink and pulled out a hair tie. After twisting my hair up in it, I headed for the stairs.

Layla, my new Akita puppy, jumped up almost knocking me over. She had a black mask, indicating she was an American Akita rather than Japanese. Her coat was a muted gold color with small white patches. Layla followed me into the kitchen and I filled her bowl with a can of special puppy food. She began to eagerly eat as I filled her water dish. When she was done making her mess I lead her to the back door and let her out into the yard. Rubbing my eyes I headed back to the kitchen and opened the fridge. I decided to cook breakfast something I didn't do very often. It was hard trying to keep it quiet. Especially since pans didn't to quiet. They clank and clatter and make much more noise than they would if you weren't trying to keep the noise down.

The bacon I had cooking in the oven began to sizzle and pop. The timer on the stove said that there was ten minuets left for it to cook but I had to check anyway, not wanting to burn it. It was ninety-five percent done, I shut the oven door. I'd cracked five eggs into a bowel and mixed them together I poured them into the pan and grabbed a spatula. It was messy as I tried to keep the eggs in the pan. They finished cooking before the bacon and I piled them on to a large plate. I threw some hash browns on the small griddle I had plugged in on the counter. I pulled another spatula from the drawer that I kept them in and flipped the hash browns before they burned. The timer went off and I pulled the bacon out of the oven, quickly making the shrill beeping stop. I set the scalding hot tray of bacon on top of the stove to let it cool and turned off the griddle. I was sliding the hash browns off the slippery, non-scratch top of the griddle and onto a plate setting them down next to the eggs on the table.

Kendall came stumbling down the stairs just as I was transferring the bacon onto its own plate. Tossing the greasy cookie sheet into the sink, I filled it with water hoping that in doing so it would make the cleaning process easier. I saw Kendall reach for the still sizzling bacon and smiled. Even I couldn't remember the last time I had cooked something that wasn't out of a box.

"Careful, it's hot," I warned him as he dropped the strip of bacon that he'd been trying to steel. "See," I pointed out, "the bacon has its own defenses against people like you." I stood on my toes, making myself as tall as I could, so that I could kiss the tip of his nose. He held my face in his hands and it was a good thing I no longer had anything cooking, since I got lost in his eyes. I was even a little surprised when he leaned in to kiss me. I didn't exactly catch on until his lips were on mine. I kissed him back and Kendall smirked against my lips. He pushed me up against the only open wall in the kitchen. He pulled the hair tie out of my hair and I wasn't sure where he had tossed it. I felt his fingers catch in the many microscopic knots my hair was tangled in. We would have probably stayed that way until the food was ice cold, but a phone decided to ring.

Low and behold it was mine. I had the most out dated iPhone you could get and refused to get the latest upgrade. Needless to say I'd had it long before I even met the guys and my ring tones were well. Let's just say I hadn't bothered changing them. I Know You Know began blaring from the living room and Kendall pulled back laughing his head off. When he could finally speak in somewhat of a sentence he did earning a lame excuse and slap on the back of the head from me.

"I thought you said you changed your ring tones?" Kendall asked laughing.

"I happen to like this song, you should be happy you and your band of idiots, minus James I happen to like him, sing it," I snapped good naturally running into the living room to answer the call.

"Now you like James better than me, should Lauren and I be worried?" Kendall asked as he still tried to control his laughing.

"Yes, I love you, but like James just a little bit more. He doesn't laugh at my outdated phone or the rings tones I happen to have set to my contacts and no you and Lauren have nothing to worry about."

"Good, who do you have this ring tone set for?" he asked me grabbing me around the waist and kissing me on the neck. The phone stopped ringing as soon as I had it in my hand and I swore under my breath, why did that always happen. No wonder my manager always had her phone and pager and other crap that kept her busy during our meetings glued to her person. If she didn't she would miss about as many call as I did.

"You know, I don't remember," I answered Kendall truthfully as I unlocked the phone screen, "it's an older song. That means it would be set for an older contact."

"Well who was it?" Kendall asked being the impatient and nosy guy that he was.

"You're reading over my shoulder, looking down at my phone screen, I obviously don't know yet."

"No need to be snippy," he responded kissing my neck again. When I didn't oppose to that he kissed my shoulder, and then my collar bone. I was only checking my missed calls but he kept distracting me. He worked against himself sometimes he wanted to know who had just tried calling me but also found fun in distracting me when I was doing something. I clicked on the flashing icon that read **YOU HAVE 1 MISSED CALL**. When it pulled up I saw the contact and almost dropped my phone gasping a little. I'd forgotten I even had her number. I lost my best friend ten years ago and now she was trying to contact me. The falling out we had had left me depressed for a year. When I moved to California I thought that she would have been supportive when my dreams started to come true.

She wasn't and started to put me on guilt trips because I wasn't talking to her as much. I went back to Indiana to visit her at lest four years ago. Needless to say she was not happy to seem me or who I brought with me. I'd gone on tour with the guys and we were going to make a stop near my home town. I begged their manager to let us have one of three day breaks around that stop and she agreed. After the stop passed I wished she had told me that we couldn't have made the stop. I still wish we hadn't made the stop. Apparently she had seen pictures of the guys and me on Twitter and Facebook and in the dreaded tabloid magazines that I hated with a vengeance, well that made her extremely mad. Her only argument still rang in my ears as I reminisced the venom filled old memory.

Big Time Rush had been our favorite band since they came out. She knew about the crazy obsession I had had with Kendall and I knew about hers. The fact that we both had major crushes on the same famous guy I was now together with maybe wasn't the best thing. It wasn't like I was steeling her boyfriend, she was just mad that I always got what I want. But she's wrong if I got every thing that I wanted I wouldn't be famous and would still have Kendall. It's a nice dream but we both know that that didn't and won't happen. Kendall noticed my state of shock and squinted over my shoulder at my phone screen.

"Who called, baby?" he asked me and I took a second to answer.

"Katie." He looked at me, the same amount of shock and disbelief showing in his eyes the I was expressing on my face.

**(A/N) What do you think so far? Please give me your thoughts and review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**(A/N) I know it's kind of crazy, the chapters keep getting shorter but in reality there lengths are going to very. Not extremely relevant but I decided to inform any consistent readers that I have. I know that I've been updating pretty consistently but that's due to my current situation they may get more spread out as time goes on. So if you're going to follow my story I figured you might want to know that. Sorry for the long A/N, please read and review. I really want to know what the people who have decided to read this far think! **

**Thanks, **

**Taylor S. **

Chapter Five

"Should you call her back?" Kendall asked after what seemed like an eternity of silence.

"I don't know," I replied defeated, "I thought we were done the last time I saw her." Too many memories flooded me and I dropped my phone and turned into Kendall's chest. He tightly wrapped his arms around me as I debated on whether or not I should cry. Well I didn't really have the choice on whether or not to cry I just did and Kendall pulled me down on to the couch. He kept his hold on me until it felt as though I couldn't cry anymore even if I wanted to. The tears had stopped flowing but my body shook with dry sobs.

The last time I had cried this hard had to do with Katie as well. It was after she yelled at me for dropping out of her life and then showing up unexpected flaunting my new glamorous life, famous boyfriend, and famous friends. Then I had managed to hold it together until I was back on the tour buss then broke down. I didn't even know how the guys had managed to get me to stop crying. I knew that they actually ended up reaching out to their fans through Twitter and tweeted about what happened. Since I was Kendall's girlfriend all of their fans got sympathy and it was nice but I couldn't get over the fact that I had lost my best friend.

"I'm going to call her back," I decided my voice scratchy and raw, as I pulled away from Kendall's chest.

"Are you sure?" he asked me a protective worry creeping into his voice.

"Yes," I stated again more sure of my decision now then I had been. If Katie wanted to talk then I wouldn't be the one who stopped her. Kendall reached down and picked my phone up and handed it to me. As I searched for Katie's number I began to get tense wondering about why she was calling me of all people. I could have sworn she hated me. Kendall caught on to my skittish behavior quickly and began softly humming the melody to Check Yes Juliette in my ear. It was one of my favorite songs, he knew that. What he also knew was that when he hummed or sang something softly to me I began to calm down and listened to his voice.

I found Katie on my phone and pressed into her contact information. My thumb hovered, for a second, over the green CALL button. Before I had the chance to talk myself out of it I pressed the little button and held the phone up to my ear. Kendall kept humming changing the song to You're Not Alone, my favorite Big Time Rush song. I heard the phone ring once, twice on the third ring Katie picked up and I heard her voice on the other end.

"Hello?" she asks and I'm still shocked she picked up.

"It's me, Alex, you tired calling," I began cautiously hoping she didn't start yelling at me over the phone.

"Oh," she says with as much sarcasm she can drip into her words, "I didn't know important famous people like you actually call normal people back."

"What do you need Katie?" I asked wanting her to cut the crap and tell me why exactly she had to ruin my day.

"I thought I'd call and let my California residing friend to tell her I was going to vacation Malibu in a couple of weeks."

"And why would I need to know that?" I ask her and try to focus more on the song Kendall was humming.

"Just thought I'd tell you," Katie says, "I've got to go now, bye."

"Why'd she need to call you?" Kendall asks and I look over at him, ending the call and setting my phone down.

"Guess who's coming to California?" I say in a sullen tone.

Kendall decides to change the subject, "I know you cooked breakfast and it's getting cold, we'd better go and eat some before it's as cold as ice."

I smile, "let's go." Kendall helps me up and we head for the kitchen. I grab him a fork and we both start eating the food I have set out on the table. Neither of us care about getting plates. When we're finished eating I cover the leftovers with plastic wrap and make room for it in the fridge. I then go over to the sink, load all of the dishes that will fit into the dishwasher into it and then busy myself with washing everything else. Kendall comes over to help and I hand him a worn-down kitchen towel. I begin to periodically hand him dishes he drys them and sets them down on the counter behind him.

Finished, I pull the plug on the sink and watch the dirty water flow down the drain. Kendall hands me the towel and I dry my hands with it. I look at the small pile of dishes on the counter sigh and begin to put them away. My blonde haired boyfriend who doesn't know what the word order means stands and watches me. I put my last pan under the kitchen sink cabinet when Layla starts barking, asking to be let in. I sigh and walk over to the backdoor and let her in. She immediately jumps on Kendall, who goes down with her.

"Layla!" I yell trying to keep my voice serious as I watch my fifty pound puppy beet my taller than six foot boyfriend in a fight. Seeing that no one was getting hurt, except for maybe my boyfriends ego, I picked my phone up, found the video camera setting and pressed record.

"Alex are you filming this?" Kendall asked as he continued to wrestle with my over excited puppy.

"I would be stupid if I didn't," I laughed back. I had already decided that I was going to post my mini Layla vs Kendall video on my Twitter. Not only did thousands of Rushers follow me, but many celebrities and the guys too. All of those people would get a kick out of this. I stopped the recording and clicked into the download option. I chose Twitter, wrote: _Kendall vs Layla so cute!_ In the description box and pressed upload. In a matter of seconds it was on the web. I tossed my phone on the couch and joined Layla in attacking Kendall.

As soon as I got down on the floor Layla jumped on me licking my face. I ended up pushing my dog off of him and laying on top of him myself. I smiled and he caught me off guard when he flipped me over so that I was the one on my back. I struggled underneath his weight pushing against his chest. Kendall got a hold of my forearms and pinned them down next to me. He managed to pin my legs too and I still tried to get out from underneath him.

Kendall leaned down and kissed my forehead, then my cheek, and my neck. His lips traced my collar bone and lingered over to my shoulder. I went to kiss him on the lips and he pulled back. I glared at him, then tried again receiving the same response. He leaned down close and whispered in my ear, his hot breath tickling the side of my head.

"And this is payback for posting that video of me and your dog on Twitter," Kendall then kissed me from the temple down and along my jawbone. I tried to catch my lips with his but he wouldn't let me. His lips trailed along my collar bone and I wanted him to let go of my arms so that I could twist my fingers in his hair.

"You're an asshole and a tease," I confirmed squirming under his weight trying to get free. He let go of my arms and I wrapped them around his neck and pushed my fingers through his thick hair. I felt Kendall wrap his arms around my waist and pull me closer to him. I looked into his deep emerald eyes again and got lost in them. I felt his hands come up and cup my face, his thumb lightly brushing my cheek. There was less than a two inch gap in between our faces. Kendall leaned down and closed the distance.

Our foreheads rested on each other. I could feel his hot breath wash over my face. His enchanting eyes held mine and I couldn't look away. I felt him brush his lips over mine and I waited. This time when our lips connected, he kissed me, his tong running over my bottom lip and my lips parted against his.

I let out an involuntary whimper when Kendall pulled out of the kiss. When his lips brushed my jaw a second involuntary whimper escaped my lips and I felt him smirk against my jaw. He trailed his lips along my neck again and down my collar bone.

"Don't we have to do something today?" I asked him, "like something productive."

"I think that what we're doing right now is pretty productive," Kendall countered kissing me on the nose.

"You having me pinned to the ground is not productive," I pointed out, "it's sad that we ended up like this." Kendall rolled off of me and stood up. I pushed myself up into a sitting position and waited for him to extend a hand, which he did, and pull me up.

"And what do you propose we do, milady?" Kendall asked kissing the top of my hand.

"Look whose turned into the model gentleman," I sarcastically praised, "first I'm taking a shower," I saw that he had raised an eyebrow and added, "alone." I chuckled when I saw the eyebrow fall.

"What am I going to do?" he complained eying me up and down.

"First you are going to stop being a perv, and second why don't you check Twitter and tweet some of your fans. You know they love it when you do," I suggested as I I began pulling the boxers off.

"Now look whose being the tease," Kendall taunted coming up to grab my ass. I slapped his hand away about five seconds too late.

"I told you to stop being gross," I scolded turning around in record time.

"No you told me to stop being a perv," he corrected snapping the waistband of my panties, "there's a difference."

"No they're the same thing," I corrected, "and I would tackle you right now if I thought I had any chance at winning, which I don't, and doing that would be exactly what you're trying to get my to do anyway."

"Damn you catch on quick," he confirmed grabbing me around the waist. Kendall's hands gripped my hips as he buried his face in my neck. "Now, what's it going to take for me to get that tank off of you?" were his muffled words.

**(A/N) Please, please, please review! One more thing I think that it's pretty cool that Money, Fame, Glamour has 103 views! Thanks to everyone who is reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

"Tell me again why I'm going with you to a last minuet tour meeting?" I asked Kendall as he shoved me into the car.

"Because," he answered, "you scare the living hell out of my bosses."

"And that helps you how?" I asked pulling down the visor mirror so that I could finish applying eyeliner. "If you drive fast and make me mess this up I will kill you for it," I threatened Kendall as he started the ignition.

"You being there means they won't try to force all of their ideas on us. You're like our little five two bodyguard. If you come they will end up letting Carlos and James bring their dogs, give us more than five breaks through out the entire tour, and will set us up in more hotels." Kendall stated before moving on to my latest threat to kill him, "and don't worry, baby, I'll drive real slow."

"You better," was my only reply. About ten minuets later we were pulling up to the security guarded gates of the Nickelodeon/Colombia Records studio, Lot 3. Kendall flashed his entrance pass to the guard and we were granted access. He drove to the section of Lot 3 that was labeled: Big Time Rush Recording and Musical Business ONLY. That basically meant if you were coming for the show you were in the wrong place. The Big Time Rush television show was filmed on the other side of Lot 3 and owned completely by Nickelodeon. The building Kendall was parking at right now was owned by Colombia Records and Nickelodeon.

When someone said that to me it was like saying I now had to deal with two rich freaks. Which, sadly, I did. The first one was Bradly Cooper, CEO of Nick, the second Nickolas Wane, CEO of Colombia Records. The both of them were scared to death of me. They have their reasons, and it has noting to do with black mail. I am just generally a scary person.

Kendall parked in his usual spot, up front, next to James and Carlos. He cut the engine and I finished dragging a shimmery, flesh toned lip gloss across my lips. I screwed the cap back on and opened the glove box. This might be Kendall's car, but I have taken over the glove box. Hes even told me that since I have so much of my own crap in there he won't even open it for fear of finding a dead body. I told him that was a smart idea and he nodded in agreement. Now one might think that if I took over the glove box in his car that he had taken over the one in mine. No, I have taken ownership of them both and have my name written on them in sparkly letter stickers.

"What do you keep in that thing anyway?" he asks pointing to the glove box as I stepped out of the car, slamming my door.

"Stuff," I answered not giving him anymore information.

"What kind of stuff?"

I thought for a minuet then answered, "my stuff."

"Fine don't tell me," Kendall pouted sticking out his bottom lip.

"Yea we agree on something," I exclaimed jumping on his back.

"What are you doing?" he grunted trying to stand back up straight.

"Getting a ride," I stated as though it should have been perfectly obvious.

"Come on get down, we need to act like civilized people now," Kendall instructed and I hopped off his back. He opened the door for me and I walked into the lobby and waited for him. I kissed Kendall on the cheek as a thank you for opening the door. I looked up and saw one of my least favorite people, Kristy.

She was sitting at the front check-in desk checking her heavy makeup in a small hand held mirror. Kristy bleached her hair, used a little too much spray tanner, had gaudy makeup, and wore slutty, skintight, reveling clothes. She hated me and I always made fun of her. We both had bitchy nicknames for each other.

Mine for her was California Snookie, and hers for me was Uptight Bitch. I personally think that the one I have for her is more original then the one she gave me. But take it as you will. Not only did her personality rub me the wrong way but the fact that she had to flirt with Kendall and James pissed me off to no end. Kristy had to do that just because they were taken. I have to say, I would slap her if she did try to get in a relationship with Logan or Carlos.

They might be older than me and I might be like a little sister to them but if any girl tried to take advantage of them first I'd slap the girl then I'd set them straight. Kristy knew this, and even though she would deny it till the end, I scared her and knew I could get her fired with the shit I had found out about her.

"Why is it that whenever I come in with you she's the one working?" I asked Kendall. He didn't have an answer and even if he did he wouldn't have had time to tell me what it was because the sicking squeak of Kristy's voice cut through the calm silence of the hallway.

"Why'd you bring that?" Kristy asked Kendall as she looked at me.

"Because he's scared of you," I answered, "MTV called they're missing their slutty star."

"The Wicked Witch of the West called and said she wanted her personality back," Kristy taunted. I laughed.

"Yea, I'm a witch, I've always loved witches," I told her smiling.

"It's not a complement," Kristy complained before turning her attention to Kendall, "why do you date that cold hearted bitch?"

"You're close to crossing the line Kristy," Kendall warned wrapping an arm around me as we passed the desk.

"Whatever," mutters Kristy as Kendall and I step into the elevator. When the doors close I wrap my arms around him and he kisses me on the cheek. The doors ding open and Kendall leads me out into pristine hallway that I was always afraid to walk in. Always afraid that I would damage one of the spotless walls or ding up one of the doors. He leads me into a meeting room where everyone is already seated around a immense oval table. I take my seat next to Kendall and James. All of the high powers are all sitting there glaring at each other. Nothing concerning Big Time Rush was being discussed and I realized why Kendall had me come. I was the one who always ran these things since the people in charge didn't want to agree with anyone.

"Alright," I announced standing up and walking over to the front of the room everyone's eyes turned to look at me. "Why are we here today?"

"Miss. Kross, what are you doing?" asked Nickolas.

"Getting these people talking, I have things to do, now what are we supposed to be discussing?" I replied and Abby Smith, the production manager, spoke up complying with me by answering my question.

"We are supposed to be discussing the tour, when and where there will be breaks during it, what venues we are going to be playing, what the boys are allowed and not allowed to bring with them, excreta."

"Then why don't you people ask them what they want to do? They are sitting right here," I stated as though it should be obvious, and it really should have been. I waited no one spoke up and I noticed Logan playing with his phone, I couldn't blame him, Jame was drumming his fingers against the desk, Carlos looked as though he was about to fall asleep, and Kendall was staring at me, nothing new there. He was probably lucky I couldn't see what he was thinking. "Okay, then I'm going to start."

I looked around the room, "who here is the tour manager?" a young man probably around my age raised his hand. He wore a crisp black suit and an expression that said he was full of himself. I didn't like him. I didn't like him at all and he was going to know that.

"I'm right here sweetheart," he began smiling a smile that made my head hurt. I knew right then that this guy was going to be a piece of work. His voice grated on my nerves and I saw all four members of Big Time Rush perk up when they heard this guy call me sweetheart. Not even Kendall called me that. Why, because he knew I would slap him.

"And your name is?" I asked grating my teeth to keep myself from attacking this guy.

"David Sheerwood, what can I do for you?" He smiled again.

"You can answer some questions for me," I replied sweetly.

"Ask away, sweetheart," Sheerwood told me leaning back in his chair.

"One call me sweetheart one more time and see what happens. Two when did you graduate collage, hot shot?"

"I graduated a year ago."

"How important do you think you are to this team?"

"Very."

"Okay you have just gotten one question wrong hot shot, you think too highly of yourself. I could do you job easily," I watched Sheerwood knowing I had just damaged his ego in front of his employers and the band he was supposed to set up a flawless tour for.

"Do you know who you are talking to?" he asked me his voice growing lower. Like that was supposed to scare me. I had everyone in this room wrapped around my little finger, including his bosses.

"Yes, hot shot, and I also know that I've been here a lot longer then you have so listen up."

Sheerwood turned to Bradly and Nickolas and asked them outraged, "who is she and why are you letting her talk to me this way?"

"This is Miss. Kross," Bradly informed Sheerwood, "she is Mr. Schmidt's girlfriend."

"She doesn't even work here and you're letting her conduct this meeting?" Sheerwood asked outraged.

"Yes," Replied Nickolas, "do you have a problem with that Mr. Sheerwood?"

"I do actually," he replied and I smiled he was singlehandedly screwing himself.

"Do you want to keep this job?" Logan asked him absently as he continued to play a game on his phone.

"What say do you have in this?" David asked Logan turning on him.

"I'm just one part of the band you are supposed to organize a tour for," Logan replied glancing up from his game.

"Oh," uttered David before he turned back to me, "and, sweetheart, what else do you want to know."

I smiled, "well first, hot shot, I'm going to act on my first warning."

"And what was that?" he asks smugly.

"To not call me sweetheart."

"What are you gong to do, beat me up?"

"Oh no, I would never do that, but some of my best friends in this building are security guards and they would have no problem doing so."

"You're bluffing," Sheerwood informs me, confidant in his answer.

"No, she's not," Carlos tells him, "Alex once got me locked out of the studio I was supposed to be working in once. We think our security guards like her more than they do us."

"Now that you know what I'm capable of do you think we can listen to Big Time Rush about what they want to do for their tour." I stared David Sheerwood down until he silently gave an okay for opinions to be given.

"That only took thirty minuets," I muttered to myself as I went to sit back down.

**(A/N) Thanks for reading, please review! Sorry if this chapter was kind of long (I'm not sure if it is or not.)**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

"You happy with the tour now?" I asked Kendall as we got into the car. I knew that James and Carlos were since they had gotten permission to bring their dogs with them.

"Yeah, I don't know how you do it but you are great at manipulating people," Kendall replied leaning over to kiss me. I pulled my seat belt on as he started the engine. He pulled out of the parking spot and drove in one big circle until we reached the exit.

"I hate this parking lot," I complained like I always did when it was time to leave Lot 3. The driving paths were confusing and I constantly thought we were going to run into another car.

"You know, Alex, I'm proud of you," Kendall praised and I looked over at him in shock.

"Why?" I questioned wary of what he had just said.

"I honestly thought you were going to rip that Sheerwood guy's head off, especially after he called you sweetheart," he explained.

"I really wanted to," I confessed looking out the window bored.

"I know, but you kept it together."

"I just wanna go home, I'm going to miss you when you leave for your six month tour in three weeks," I pouted crossing my arms over my chest, sinking down into my seat. Kendall looked over at me but I didn't meet his eyes. I wasn't just in a sour mood because I had been stuck in a room for three hour, I really was going to miss Kendall when he left for tour. I'd miss the other guys too. They were my family.

Round trip was about twenty minuets. Ten there, ten back. I'd dozed off on the drive home and Kendall shook me out of my daydreaming state. He took my hand and we walked into the house together. Once in side I let Layla out and walked over to the couch. I just stared at the black leather until Kendall came up behind me. He kissed my neck and sat down.

I dropped down next to him and Kendall pulled me on to his lap. Talking about the world tour had made me remember that when Kendall went on tour I didn't see him for months. I didn't like not seeing my boyfriend for months. Not being around him didn't even stop the paparazzi. If anything it made them more aggressive. I kicked my shoes off, watching them fall over the arm rest. My toes were cold so I pulled them in so they weren't hanging off the side of the couch and shoved them under Kendall's leg. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck.

"The tour begins here in California, you'll get to come to at least one of the shows," my boyfriend offered giving me puppy-dog eyes, hoping I didn't get mad. I mean after all I was the one that helped make this tour possible.

"Yeah but for three weeks you're going to be at the studio working, not spending time with me," I complain. We both know it's true and honestly I'm not trying to make him feel bad about going to work but I dislike tours. I was going to have to talk to Lauren so I could find out how she managed to keep it together when James went on tour. Then again I already knew the answer, she had Amanda to take care of. She couldn't sulk around most of the day like I could, counting the minuets that passed.

Layla started barking jumping up at the sliding glass door. I got up and let her in so she wouldn't scratch the glass. Layla ran over to Kendall and I followed. She jumped up on the couch even though she wasn't supposed to be up there. That rule was enforced maybe two hours when I first got her.

"Alex, get your dog off of me," Kendall laughed as he tried to push the fifty pound puppy back to the floor.

"Aw, she likes you," I mentioned not being very helpful.

"We've established that," Kendall muttered as Layla tried to bite his nose. Smiling I joined in on the fun. Well it was fun for me and Layla. Kendall on the other hand was pinned against the couch. I didn't think that he minded much though, since he did manage to grab my ass.

The only reason I eventually pulled Layla off him and got up myself was because his phone started ringing. I sat wrestling with Layla on the floor as he got up to grab it. He came back holding the phone out to me.

I stared at him and took the phone as he quickly said, "it's for you."

"Hello?" I asked into the phone.

"Sweetheart," spoke Sheerwood's thick voice, "I need to talk to you."

"I warned you today, do not call me sweetheart or I will be thrown in jail for killing you," I threaten.

"Is that anyway to talk to someone who wants you help?" he asked I could hear a motive behind his words and I didn't like it.

"Why do you need my help, I have already told you how you need to set up the tour. You know the states and what venues to book in them. You know how many breaks and where you will be setting up hotel stays. Come on what do you need me to do make all of the phone calls? I'm not getting payed for this bullshit you know," I snap into the phone.

"Maybe you'll actually listen if I hand the phone to someone else," he tells me and I hear the crackling of the phone being passed to someone else.

"Hello, Alex?" Abby's voice asked.

"What do you have to do with all of this?" I ask her making the point known.

"You know how the tour manager is supposed to go on tour with the guys and make sure everything happens on time?" she asks me and I hear a smile in her voice as if she knows something that I don't.

"Yes," I tell her blatantly. Then I look up at Kendall who is trying so hard not to smile it's not even funny. I glare at him, mentally asking what's up and he just shrugs his shoulders.

"Basically we don't trust David," Abby bluntly informs me.

"Smart people, I don't trust him either," I agree.

"But we do trust you," I can hear the smile in her voice, "how would you like to go on tour and make sure everything runs smoothly?"

"Yeah, I'll go, as long as I'm on the same bus as the guys. I'll have an easier time keeping track of them that way."

"Done, come in with Kendall tomorrow and find me. We're going to need to talk." I hear the phone click, ending the call. I hang up myself. Then I turn to Kendall.

"You knew all along, didn't you?" I ask smiling.

**(A/N) Sorry, I know it's short but I'll be working on chapter 8 as soon as I can.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Six Weeks into the Tour

I went over the set list one more time in my head. One, make sure the stage is set up properly. Two, get band and guys in a general area and don't let them leave the building. Three, check and make sure no crazed fan got backstage. Four, pray everything goes as planned.

The black head set that was wired to the sound system sat on my head turned on. I had a walky talky strapped to my belt and was carrying a clipboard and four microphones in both hands. There were ten minuets before sound check and I followed the signs that pointed to the dressing rooms. Each guy had their own and I barged into each one.

Like normal all four of them were lounging on the couch back stage and my barge-ins did nothing to help. I walked over to the instrument wall and pulled Kendall's guitar off its stand.

"Phones off," I commanded and each guy shut down the game that they had been playing and gave me their undivided attention. I walked over to Kendall took his phone and handed him the guitar and his mic. I did the same thing with the rest of them, took the phone and handed them a mic.

"How much longer till sound check?" asked Logan as he tossed the microphone up in the air.

"Ten minuets," I inform him then address them all, "warmup time." Kendall strums the first few bars of World Wide and they begin singing. I walk on stage to see the crew putting the last few touches on the set, or as the guys call it 'The Adult Jungle-Gym.' Everything seemed to be going the same as always. The great thing was we were moving right on schedule.

I looked down at my clipboard. Then at my watch. I had to wear one now so that I knew what the time was every second of the day. I walked over to the tech guy, Conner, who was messing with a bundle of wires.

"Do you have the speakers set up yet?" I ask Conner and he looks up.

"I've got the speakers done, but I'm still working on the lights," he tells me and I nod my head saying that I heard him before walking away. When I walk backstage I see that the band had all managed to come together saving me time and a lot of stress. Looking down I realize I'm still holding the guy's cellphones and set them down on the table behind me. I look down at my watch again, only five minuets till sound check."

"I got the lights ready Alex," I hear Conner yell from the stage. I hear my cellphone ring and pull it out of my pocket. I don't even have time to speak before a voice starts talking from the other end.

"I got the times wrong Alex," Abby says her voice frantic, "the guys are going to have to skip sound check. The concert starts in five minuets."

"What?" I ask worried but all I get is the tone my phone makes when someone has hung up on me. I turn to the guys and Kendall stops strumming his guitar when he sees my face.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"There's no sound check tonight guys. The show starts in five minuets." I watch as the crew starts walking backstage.

"Everything is set up, Alex," Jared, the crew manager, says to me.

"I hope it's set up right," I mutter under my breath knowing that going out there without sound check is a shot in the dark. I look through the curtains and see people filing into the venue.

One Hour Later

I watch as the guys run out on stage. Normally I'm excited for the show to start. Not tonight, I didn't know if everything was working or if the stage was secure. It was more of the set being flawed, rather than the speakers cracking, that shot ice through my veins.

There first and second songs are sung with them basically running around the base of the stage. No stunts involved. The third song however they climb up onto the set I hold my breath. Out of everything we do in sound check, making sure the stage is set up properly is the most important. One loose bolt or missing piece could bring the entire thing crashing down.

The music for Windows Down starts to blare. I watch the guys start their stunts. Back flips, jumping, and just basically running around the entire contraption. At first it seemed to be holding up. But the longer they jumped on it the more unsteady it, apparently, became.

I only knew when it was too late, that the set was going to collapse from the bottom up. I had only pulled out my phone to dial nine one one, knowing we would need an ambulance, to see it all crash down. The main lights came up and security started to quickly usher people out of the building.

My heart dropped like a piece of lead to my stomach. I ran out on stage dropping the clipboard. The entire stage had fallen down on its self. To my, short lived, relief I saw that no one was trapped under the metal. Everyone was banged up scrapes and bruises. I did a head count. Every member of the band was fine but only three members of Big Time Rush were standing. James, Carlos, and Logan, they were standing. Kendall wasn't.

"He was staggering when the set came down," James said as he knelt down to where his friend was laying unconscious. "He didn't have time to jump and came down with the set."

"Alex!" came a voice just off stage, "the paramedics are here, they want to know if they need to bring in a stretcher."

"They need one!" I yelled back as I knelt down, along with James, next to Kendall.

I fought with the paramedics to let me ride in the back of the ambulance with him.

**(A/N) Sorry, I know this one is short too. I will be working on chapter nine very soon. Please review!**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

"We've been here an hour," I complain looking at the clock hanging on the wall, "why won't the doctor tell me if he's seriously hurt?" I continue to pace as far as the room will let me. James, Carlos, and Logan watch me warily as though they are unsure of what to say.

"Alex," James begins and I look over at him, "Kendall's going to be alright. You need to stop worrying."

"But it's my fault this happened," I confess, "if I had had them delay the show just a couple of minuets I could've gone around to check the stage."

"Come and sit down," Logan commands pointing to an empty chair between him and James. I do as he says and collapse next to them in the chair. James puts an arm around my shoulders and I lean into him defeated.

"Everything is going to be alright," he tells me confident in his positive state of mind.

"I hope you're right," I mumble closing my eyes. Less than five minuets later, I'm disturbed by my ringing phone. Slowly I pull it out of my pocket. The caller ID says **Front Desk**, and I answer it.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Ms. Kross, I was told to call you if any people with cameras come," a woman's calm voice tells me. Suddenly I'm alert and sit up in the chair, startling the three boys sitting around me.

"How many are there?" I ask.

"At least fifteen," the woman reports, "what should I do with them?"

"Let me handle it," I reply icily before ending the call.

"Who was that?" Carlos asks me as he shifts the ice pack to the other side of his head.

"The front desk," I briskly answer as I begin to dial another number into my phone, "we've got company." I press send, hold the phone up to my ear, and listen to it ring.

"Alex?" asks Jackson's voice surprised.

"It's me, where are you and the rest of security?" I state bluntly.

"By the buses around back, why?"

"Some paparazzi found out where we are and they have taken over the front of the building," I say informing Jackson with the little information I know.

I hear him yell to the rest of security, "Alex needs us to get some paparazzi under control up front, come on!" Jackson then turns his attention back to me, "we'll be right there."

I hang up then inform the guys who are staring at me waiting for an answer. "Our little problem is being fixed right now." I see them sigh in relief. Done with my phone calls I walk over to the row of chairs the guys are still sitting in. Tired I drop down to the seat I had been previously occupying.

James puts his arm around my shoulders again and I close my eyes setting my head on his chest. It wasn't very long before something else disturbed me. I felt James shake me awake. When I opened my eyes a doctor, wearing a white lab coat, stood in front of me.

"Is he okay?" I asked him sitting up, pushing my tangled hair out of my eyes.

"Kendall is fine, Ms. Kross. There was no concussion from the fall, all the blood was from a cut barely an inch deep. Head wounds bleed a lot, whether or not there is a serious injury," the doctor reads to me off his clipboard. When he was done and looked up I asked him the obvious question.

"So can I go in and see him?"

"Yes, room 201, straight through those doors," the doctor told me pointing behind him. I started walking toward he was pointing and heard him address the guys behind me.

"As for you three," he said, "I want to check you out next. Follow me." A few seconds later the doctor and three guys were bringing up the rear.

I hate hospitals. I also have two reasons that hold up, one there are too many people and two, I can never find anything. Plus I can always manage to get lost or end up somewhere I'm not supposed to be. After searching for what seemed like twenty minuets, even though I knew that it wasn't, I ran in to room 201. I mean literally, I ran into the door. Rubbing my forehead, my hand found the door handle and I opened the door.

"Now both of our heads hurt," Kendall smiled surprisingly in good spirits. I made my way into the hospital room and sat down in the plastic chair next to Kendall's bed.

"How'd it happen?" I ask him as I run my fingers through his thick, golden hair pushing it off his forehead.

"Don't know, the stage just started shaking and before I knew it everything had come crashing down and I blacked out. Next thing I knew I was here and some guy was shining a light in my eyes," he relayed back to me. Accounting every event that had passed in the last three or four hours. I wasn't really sure how long this string of time had been.

"Did the doctor tell you anything he wouldn't have told me?"

"Well, I don't have a concussion, didn't break any bones. They say I can leave with everyone else so I think I'm doing pretty good."

Four Hours Later

I'd gotten everyone on back on the tour bus about an hour ago and now we were driving down the freeway. By the way everyone was acting you wouldn't have been able to tell we'd just spent at least five hours in the hospital.

"Put the Nerf guns away!" I shout as Logan and James run past me with the toys.

"Come on Alex," Carlos shouts back some where out of my sight, "no one's hurt, badly, and they found out what was wrong with the stage. Have some fun!"

"I don't know why you four find shooting each other with foam darts fun!" I call back, shaking my head as two more idiots run past me shooting at the other two behind them.

"Well you took the bouncy balls," Logan complained pointing his plastic gun at me.

"And for good reason I was tired of treating black eyes," I looked him in the eye pointing at the gun. "Don't you even think about pulling that trigger," I warn him just as foam darts start hitting me from all directions.

"And now we've managed to piss her off," James confirmed dropping his toy.

I turn to him, "you know if Lauren wasn't Amanda's mom I would be worried."

"And you would have reason to be," he tells me flashing a smile that makes every Big Time Rush fan go crazy. Really, I have proof. One of the other three who still have their toys lets another foam dart fly in my direction.

"Who shot that?" I yell turning in a circle making eye contact with each guy. All three of them drop their guns and put their hands up in mock surrender. "That's what I thought," I say with satisfaction.

"You are so not fun," Logan complains throwing himself down on the couch.

"No I don't like picking up foam darts because none of you clean up after yourselves."

"Hey," Carlos begins and I cut him off.

"Except Carlos and that's why he's my buddy."

"You just suck up to Alex so she doesn't yell at you," Logan commented picking up his laptop from the floor and tuning it on.

"You all should start taking lessons from him," I announce as I bend down to pick up a handful of yellow darts from the floor.

"Well I already have to do everything you say," Kendall added pulling out his phone and throwing himself down on the opposite couch. I assumed he was checking twitter, Kendall was always checking his twitter. Sighing I began to pick up the tour bus throwing belongings I find to their owners.

**(A/N) I'm sorry I couldn't get this posted yesterday! Hope you like, will be working on Chapter 10 as soon as possible. Special thanks to my followers and everyone who's reviewing! By the way, keep reviewing, I want to know what people think.**

**Thanks,**

**Taylor S. **


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Sound Check

"Alex, you've checked the supports ten times already," James commented into the microphone.

"Do you remember what happened the last show?" I asked him as I shook one of the polls.

"Yes, and it didn't fall down the last nine times you shook, jumped or yelled at it," he pointed out playing with the volume settings on the microphone.

"And I don't need a repeat of the last show," I say with out looking at him. "Don't play with that."

"How'd you even," began James before Kendall cut him off.

"It's Alex, she catches me on everything."

"You're damn right," I agree then add, "don't even think about jumping that."

"Sound and lighting's set up, and the pyro is wired," Conner informed me as he played with the main spot light.

"That's great," I yell back. My walky talky crackles and Jackson's voice comes over it.

"Alex, if the guys want we have some early fans they could come and sign some autographs."

I pull it off my belt and press the talk button, the walky talky makes a bleeping sound and I answer Jackson. "I'll ask them if they want to." I took my finger off the button, the walky talky beeped again, and I snapped it back onto my belt. Then I looked out over the empty stadium and began counting heads. James was now running with Carlos around the seats and both Logan and Kendall were on their phones.

"You, you, you, and you," I called out pointing to each one of them as they turned to look at me, "some fans have gotten here early, stop causing trouble for me and your wonderfully patient stage, and go sign some autographs." I watched as all of them shrugged their shoulders and head for the door.

Dylan one of the crew hands came up to me, "Alex you should go with them. Not that I don't trust the boys, I just don't trust them to stay civilized."

"I was thinking the same thing." Rolling my eyes I started jogging for the same doors four idiots had just walked out of. My ears were met with the loud shrieking of teenage girls meeting their idols. There were at least twenty of them. Jumping, screaming, and basically being teenage girls. I smiled remembering I used to be in their place. A group of them noticed me and started pointing in my direction. I grabbed a backstage pass from one of the security guards that didn't know me well and threw it around my neck.

Smiling I started walking over to the group that had noticed me. How Big Time Rush fans found me fascinating baffled me. I signed a couple of autographs and took some pictures. Then the questions started.

"What's it like knowing BTR?" one girl asked me.

"Hectic," I answered her still smiling.

"How'd you meet them?" another girl asked.

"Long story," was my only answer because I didn't feel like telling it.

"Alex," said Jackson coming up behind me, "show starts in twenty minuets, go in and make sure everything is running on schedule. I'll gather the guys and send them in."

Three Minuets Before the Concert

"Everyone has a mic?" I ask the four guys.

"Yes," they all reply at the same time.

"Are they on?" I ask now, crossing my arms over my chest as each guy looks at their wireless mics.

"No."

"Well fix that." Every one of them turns their microphone on then look at me again. I smile proud of all four of them. I kiss all four of them on the cheek for good luck and step off the platform. I wait a second looking at all four of them then step back up as the one minuet warning announcement comes on.

I touch the small scar on Kendall's cheek from yesterday's fall. "You be careful," I whisper in his ear before pressing my lips to his for a brief second before the platform started rising and I had to jump off.

**(A/N) Two chapters in one day! I'll be working on chapter 11 when I can. If you guys have any suggestions send them to me in a message or review.**

**Thanks,**

**Taylor S.**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

"Thank you all for coming out tonight!" I hear Carlos shout into the microphone and the crowd went, well what's a better word for crazy?

James followed Carlos up by yelling, "we love you Las Vegas!" into his own microphone. I watched the guys run backstage, change, get a quick drink of water, then get back on the platform. I smile and wave as they get shot back up onto the stage to sing the encore. I hear the music for BTR begin to boom through the speakers, soon the guy's voices join in.

The crowd has no problem singing along to every word. I find myself singing along doing fist pumps along with everyone else when the guys do. A couple of backstage helpers laugh under their breath noticing me. Shrugging my shoulders I continue what I'm doing.

You'd think that after, who knows how many shows, I would remember which way the guys run off. Nope, I see them coming but for some reason I don't move and get trampled. Kendall catches me before I hit the floor.

"You're all sweaty," I complain pushing against his chest, "you and the rest of them go take a shower. I will not have four sweaty boys on my tour bus!"

"Oh, so it's your tour bus now?" James asked me lighthearted mocking his his voice, as he wiped his face with a towel that he decided to toss at me. I squeaked and jumped out of the way. "Most girls would go crazy to have my sweat soaked towel," James pointed out and he was right but I wasn't most girls.

"One, the tour bus might as well be mine I am the one who takes care of it and two, you should know by now I know you I don't want you sweaty towel," I laughed watching him as he pulled off his soaked shirt. "I swear if you throw that at me I will make your life on that tour bus hell." I warned James as he balled up the shirt and shot it like a basket ball in to the dirty clothes basket.

"I'm clean now," announced Kendall as he walked into the room a towel wrapped around his waist. He walked over to me wrapping me in a hug as James goes to take his turn in the shower.

"Thank you," I yelp as he lifts me off my feet, "now put me down." I wait and he doesn't. It's not like I expected Kendall to listen to me because when does he. Kendall spun me around twice before finally setting me back down on the floor.

"I think there's something wrong with something over there," Kendall tells me pointing to the hallway the guys had all exited. Rolling my eyes I follow him knowing there was nothing wrong. As soon as I step into the hall way I'm pelted with water-balloons. Before I knew it I was soaked and had five guys laughing at me Kendall, James, Carlos, Logan, and Dustin.

I look at Dustin, "you are so lucky you are not on the same bus as me. As for the rest of you, I wont be the one cleaning you will. Now, which one of you has a dry, clean shirt?" Kendall throws me one and I step into the nearest dressing room. When I come out the only thing I'm wearing is his shirt. Since I'm short it falls down slightly below my knees.

"Sorry Alex," Carlos apologizes still laughing slightly.

"Whatever, I'm getting on the bus and four of you are coming with me," when none of them make any move to follow me l looked over my shoulder, "you know who you are, now come on that bus is not going to clean its self." I heard complaints of protest but each member of Big Time Rush followed me out side and into the bus.

"Alex we're tired," Logan began, "can we clean the bus tomorrow?" I pondered his question as the rest of them boarded the buss and stood in front of me waiting for my final judgment, even though I already knew the answer.

"Get some sleep but we're cleaning tomorrow," announce and they spread out to different areas of the bus. Kendall came and sat next to me on the couch. I snuggled up next to him. He kissed the top of my head and I pointed to the laptop sitting on the floor. "Can you get that for me please?" He reaches over and picks the laptop up and hands it to me. I kiss Kendall on the cheek in a thank you and his arm slips around my waist as I open up the internet. Placing my hands on the keyboard I type in to the search bar my email and suddenly my screen blows up with hundreds of unread emails. I glance through all of them and delete all of the spam then go back to the top. The newest one is from my writing agent, I open it and read:

Alex,

I know you're on tour and are busy but the publisher is asking when you will be able to begin working on the second book in the _Struck_ trilogy. They wanted me to make sure you knew that there is no rush, but would like to know as soon as possible. When you read this message me back ASAP.

Thanks,

Kim

After reading the short email from my agent, I open up a new message and type in the subject line, _Struck _trilogy reply, then move on down to the body of the email and type:

Kim,

Tell the publishers I will start working on my second book as soon as I get a break, which should be around the next break in the tour, in about five days. Thanks for the heads up. Message me with any more important information.

Alex K.

"Who'd you just reply to?" Kendall asked me as he tried to read over my shoulder.

"My agent, she wanted to know when I'll be able to start working on the second book," I answer him. Moving the email to a folder I had labeled Work, I opened the second email not recognizing the sender and there was no subject. The first thought that ran through my head was, _oh great I've got more hate mail and Kendall is sitting right next to me. So much for hiding it from him._ I opened my eyes and read:

Alex Kross,

You are so fake! I do not know what the boys of Big Time Rush see in you! You are a bitch who has had everything handed to you and you take everything for granted! I HATE YOU and you need to go and fucking die!

P.S. I feel so fucking bad for Kendall for having to date you!

I was used to reading emails that said I hate you and ones that say I wish you were dead, and others that insult my writing or say I'm a bitch. Those I can handle but saying I've had everything handed to me is crossing the line. With out any warning I started to cry. I didn't even bother to click out of the email. My suddenly starting to cry took Kendall by surprise and he took the laptop. After reading the email he held me tighter and looked down at me setting the laptop on the floor.

"Alex, how many emails have you gotten like this?"

**(A/N) I know my last chapter was under a thousand words, I hope this one is better. Please review I love knowing what you guys think! So, how do you like this chapter? Will be working on Chapter Twelve when I can. Oh, and I want to thank Chey21 for the constant reviews, along with Amalix Charlotte, Hearts24 and kensare. Thanks so much for the support! Plus thanks to the four people following Money, Fame, Glamour!**

**Love, **

**Taylor S.**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

"What's going on, I heard crying?" James asked sounding concerned, as he walked over to Kendall and me. I would have answered but was still trying to even my breathing. I saw Kendall point to my laptop and James picked it up. After reading the heartless email, he came over and sat down on my other side. I felt James wrap an arm around my shoulders.

"Alex," Kendall began his voice soft. He was about to say more but I cut him off. I pulled my head off his chest and leaned back into James looking my concerned boyfriend in the eye.

"I'm fine," was my shaky excuse. James's arms tightened around me as I realized I couldn't keep up the lie. That one email was just too much. Didn't these people know I was a person too?

"No you're not," both boys stated at the same time. I shook my head in agreement and felt more tears slip down my cheeks.

"How many emails or messages have you gotten that are like this?" James asks me. I get my crying under enough control to answer him.

"I don't know too many," I confess, "people tweet, email. No matter how much support fans give me there are just five times more people who just don't understand. I mean because I am who I am doesn't mean I don't have feelings. This last one was just too hard to cope with. I've worked so hard for what I have and nothing has ever been handed to me."

Kendall and James both look at each other like they weren't sure of what to do or say. I hated myself for putting them in this situation. I wasn't worth the worry or sympathy they were giving out. Angry at myself, I broke away from James and grabbed the laptop. Kendall tried to take it from me but I pulled it out of his reach and sat back down on the couch between the both of them. Harshly wiping my eyes I opened up a file on my email account that had no label. It said I had over one-hundred messages stored in it.

Wiping my eyes again I opened the first one and read out loud, "I do not know how Alex Kross managed to get that piece of shit she calls literature published. More importantly I can not figure out for the life of me how she got involved with Kendall Schmidt. I hope you read this you low-life bitch!"

"Alex you don't have to," Kendall began cautiously but I cut him off.

"Yes I do," I click into another email, "here's another one. Alex Kross is a pathetic excuse for a famous author. She doesn't deserve what she has because she did nothing to earn it! I feel bad for Big Time Rush because they are stuck around her 24/7! By the way, if you are reading this, I would be such a better girlfriend to Kendall. When he gets tired of your crap give him my number, 204-361-2548."

"Alex, stop," James ordered moving to shut the laptop. I pulled it out of his reach, for some reason feeling I needed to read these out loud. I didn't know why but I had to hear the sting of the words.

"Oh, here's a good one!" I exclaim spitefully, "you are a fucking bitch! I hope you read this fucking bitch!" James gets the laptop and puts it on the other couch then holds me back when I go to grab it.

"Stop," he orders pushing me back down onto the couch. I see him look to Kendall for help. My boyfriend has a blank face that twists into worry as he pulls me into his chest. I can't stop crying even though I try. Disturbed by the small ruckus, Logan and Carlos come into the lounge rubbing sleep from their eyes. When both of them see me they wake up suddenly. Concern floods their faces. A question forms on Logan's lips and James points to the laptop. Carlos and Logan sit down on the opposite couch at the same time and Logan pulls the computer up on to his lap and begins opening emails.

Another question formed on Logan's lips and was silenced by a defeated shrug from James. I curled into a ball on Kendall's lap and pressed my tear stained face to his chest. I felt his fingers run through my hair. I could count on one hand the amount of times I've broken down and sobbed. This is the only time I've ever done something like this and right now, I don't really care.

I cried until Kendall and the subtle movement of the bus rocked me to sleep. When I wake up sometime the next morning I'm still wrapped in Kendall's arms and the rest of the guys are passed out on the couches. My laptop is open and the screen is glowing with the words that had made me cry the night before. I shift the slightest bit in my boyfriend's arms and he wakes up. Tightening his already strong grip around my shoulders. He kisses my forehead and I look up my eyes rimmed with red.

"Are you going to be okay?" he asks me wary concern filling his tired voice.

"I don't know," I answer him truthfully wrapping my arms around his waist. Locking my fingers together I had no plan of letting go.

Kendall presses his lips to my forehead, "I couldn't stand seeing you like that, baby," he confesses holding me even tighter. "It kills me to see you cry."

"I hate crying," I mumble into his neck, "it makes me feel weak."

"You are not weak, Alex," Kendall tells me his voice confident, "honestly you are one of the strongest people I know."

"I just bawled my eyes out over words on a screen. That's not strong or confident that's pitiful."

"But how long have you been getting these emails? How long have you been holding everything in?" he questions me softly rubbing my back between the shoulder blades.

"I don't know. Since I met you guys and my book got popular."

"Why didn't you tell me or any one of us?"

"They were words on a screen," I chuckle softly, "I didn't think they would end up affecting me like this."

"Do you want to cry again?" Kendall asks me and I mumble my response into his neck.

"I don't think I have any tears left to cry."

**(A/N) What do you guys think? Read and review. How do you think I'm doing with the drama?**

**Love,**

**Taylor**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

"Great show guys," I say my required line. I was tired and they knew it. Anyone who knew me could see it in my eyes in the way I was presenting myself. The last week had been hard on me. Not only was I managing the shows, but the hate mail had been getting worse. For some reason I couldn't just delete it. I had to open the message and read the words some inconsiderate person typed and sent.

Stage crew began breaking down the set and I made sure everyone got onto their respective buses. Done with everything I needed to do, I boarded my bus and dropped down to the couch. Cracking my neck, I closed my eyes. Maybe I'd be able to get some sleep tonight. When I woke up the next morning I found myself in my bed.

Throwing my hair into a quick ponytail, I slid out of the cramped bunk. My feet hit the cold floor of the tour bus and I padded down the short hall into the lounge. Still tired I threw myself down on to one of the couches hoping to fall back to sleep. I should have known that my luck just wasn't that great. I tossed, turned and at some point managed to fall off the couch and land on the floor.

Sitting up, I pulled myself back up on to the couch. By that time the rest of the bus had begun to wake up. In groups of two the boys filed into the lounge yawning and disheveled. In less than a minuet they were all lounging on the rest of the couches, arms and legs hanging off the sides. One of them finds the remote and turns the television on. Country music oozes through the surround-sound speakers and a music station shows up on the screen.

Rubbing my tired eyes, I don't pay the noise much attention. Kendall throws a strong arm around my shoulders and I lean into his chest. I'm glad none of them talk much in the morning, I didn't need the headache their bickering brought. My head already starts to spin as I think about everything I was going to need to do once the bus stopped. I feel Kendall squeeze my shoulder and I look up at him. My hazel eyes find the worry laced in his emerald green. A small part of my brain wants me to tell him not to worry. The part that knows he should stops it.

I don't want anyone of them to worry about me. They have their own responsibilities, and problems to occupy their time. They don't need to take on any of mine. James walks over holding his phone out to me. My eyes open a crack and I look up at him.

"Anything else negative and things are going to take a turn for the worst," Kendall warns him as I sit up, holding my hand out for the phone. James places the thin electronic in my palm and I squint at the screen. He has twitter pulled up and I begin reading the retweets below a main one tweeted by James himself. It read: _You guys all know Alex, Kendall's girlfriend, well some people are giving her a hard time. Please show her some support, thanks JM._

I looked up at James wondering when he had tweeted this, since I followed him I should have seen it. Mentally shrugging my shoulders in my head I scrolled down and continued to read all of the replies. None of them had a demeaning word or snappy reply. One of them actually brought a smile to my face. The tweet read: _One, I hope Alex gets to read this. Two, I feel horrible for her. Three, I'm going to find all of the assholes sending her hate mail and run them over with my truck. Oh, and four if anyone wishes to help me run the assholes over feel free to do so._

After reading that one I copied down the person's user-name and handed James his phone back as I pulled out mine. I watched James slide his phone into his pocket and head toward the kitchen. He would have probably said something supportive but wanted to get something to eat instead and would save his philosophical mindset for later.

Kendall watched me as I pulled twitter up on my phone and found the person who had tweeted James back, obliging with his request to send me support. Pulling the keyboard up on my phone I typed: _I did get to read your tweet. Thank you so much, it actually brought a smile to my face. Honestly it's nice to know not everyone hates me._ I pressed send and turned twitter off. I set my phone back down on the floor and looked up at the television screen. Music still played and nothing but the name of the song and artist flashed on the screen. Apparently Logan was done with the country music and pulled the guide up. He began flipping through it and I saw a Criminal Minds marathon flash by.

"Hey," I call out to him, "go back." Logan looks at me then flips down two screens on the guide.

"What did you want to watch?" he asks looking over the shows.

"Criminal Minds," I instruct him and watch as the little blue highlight flicks down to it. He presses enter and one of my favorite crime dramas flashes on the screen. None of the guys understand why I like it but they don't complain. Well they used to, they stopped after they got tired of hearing my answer: at leas it don't make you four watch style, and TLC. Now that was one thing they could all agree on.

"Alex, what is it about this type of show you like so much?" James asks me looking at the screen as he walks back into the lounge a half eaten apple in his hand.

"They're interesting," I absently tell him before really noticing the food, "don't get any of that on my furniture."

"Yes Mam," James replies with a little salute and temporally straight face.

"Alex is back!" Carlos shouts as he comes running in from the hall. I hadn't even noticed when he had left.

"Yeah, I guess I just had to see that not everyone who uses email and twitter is against me," I knew that it was a pitiful reasoning but for some reason it made me feel better. Carlos looked at his phone and lit up the screen.

"Only twenty minuets till we get to Denver," he announces putting his phone away. I didn't know how he kept track of the time but it really helped.

"I promise to leave the rest of you guys hot water," I smile standing up. Puling the elastic out of my hair I headed toward the small bathroom.

**(A/N) Sorry, I know that the chapters have been really short. Sadly this one isn't an exception. Hope you guys like. Read and review. Will work on updating as soon as I can.**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

"Alright, is everything set up?" I yell my question into a microphone and hear it bounce back loudly. The sound system is working great. I've decided to let the guys test the set from now on. They find more fun in jumping and running around on it than I do. I glance up and see Logan and Carlos jumping up and down on the trampoline and Kendall and James were apparently chasing each other, like little kids, as they ran around on it.

I saw that Kendall was laughing and that James seemed pissed. Both of them noticed me and jumped down. They both had a new target: me. I was standing center stage by the microphone stands. Kendall ran behind me and James stopped a few feet in front of me.

"I am going to kill your boyfriend," James informed me and I leaned my head against my fist.

"What did he do this time?" I ask knowing that it was something stupid. Out of all the things they could fight about, not that I would want them to, they chose the smallest things.

"He took my cell phone." I rolled my eyes. Phone steeling happened on a regular basis. It made absolutely no sense to me, then again neither did bouncy ball fights and they did that too.

"What did I tell you four about stealing cell phones?" I ask Kendall as he tosses James's phone from hand to hand.

"That we're not allowed to take each others property with out permission from the owner," Kendall relayed to me. I was honestly surprised that he actually listened and used it to my advantage.

"Then why did you take the phone?" I asked him. I swear I honestly felt more like a mother reigning in her four rumbustious children than being the girlfriend to one of them.

"Because I knew it would piss him off," Kendall sang, a mischievous glint flashing in his eyes.

"Not a valid reason," I tell him, "give me the phone." he hands over the phone, no questions asked, and I gave it back to James who took it from me and smiled.

"Thanks Alex," said James quickly before darting off. I rolled my eyes again watching him. Then I wondered how Lauren dealt with him on a daily basis. That pondered around in my head until I asked myself how I put up with Kendall on a daily basis. I didn't have an answer. They really just do grow on you.

"Lighting's wired!" I hear one of the crew hands yell and mentally check that off my list of things that need to be set up. I let myself relax realizing that lighting was the last one. Kendall's arms wrap around my waist pulling me into his chest. Even though I had previously been mad at him for being an idiot I didn't object when he pressed his lips to my cheek.

"You two do know that you're in public right?" Logan yells from the trampoline.

"And do you know that you input in not valued?" I yell back and watch Logan smirk.

"I do actually, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to share it!" Kendall ignores his friend's comment just like I had and spins me around in his arms so that I'm facing him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and look up, gazing into his green eyes. His arms tighten around my waist and I lean back into his arms. Kendall holds me like that a second more before he leans down and presses his lips to mine.

I kiss him back knotting my fingers in his hair. His tongue trails along my bottom lip, my lips part, and he deepens the kiss. I end up having to pull back completely out of breath. Kendall holds my face in his hands and rests his forehead against mine. His warm breath spreads across my face and I can feel my eyelids flutter. He leans down and kisses me again, picking up right where we had left off.

"Still in public!" I hear Logan yell and vaguely register his obnoxious comment. The very small part of my brain that isn't focused on Kendall decides to kill Logan later. I would have done it then but, I was pretty busy.

Our make-out session had moved backstage and onto one of the couches. Kendall was on top of me and neither of us had any intention of changing that. Logan had apparently looked at his phone and decided to announce extremely loud something about the show.

"And the show starts in five minuets. I don't know about any one else but I don't think Kendall and Alex know that five minuets is a short amount of time." Well, he had single handedly managed to piss me off for the third time today. Kendall pulled off me and I began running my fingers through his messy hair, trying to brush it.

"Four minuets," Logan now announced and I shot him a pissed off glare.

"Remember I know where you sleep," I warn him, "someone get me a brush." a young assistant I didn't recognize handed me one and I started brushing my boyfriends hair. He didn't object which surprised me.

"Oh I'm scared," Logan remarked to my last comment.

I glared at him, "you should be." Setting the brush down, I looked at my boyfriend then at the rest of the guys, "well you should get on your platform." I watch the as they head toward the platform. I let them get at least five steps away before calling out to them again. "What no hug? You four do know I am the one who helps to make these shows happen, right?"

All of them stop, turn around and I walk toward them arms spread for a group hug. I get a hug from each one of them, even Logan, and then practically pushed them onto the platform. I stepped up kissed Kendall on the cheek for good luck, which received a fake gagging noise from Logan, I rolled my eyes at the not very mature twenty-one year old, and jumped off the platform backwards as is started to rise up. Music started to play and the guys started to sing. Finally everything was back to normal.

Then my phone beeped.

**(A/N) Will update as soon as I can. Sorry I know this one too is short. Please review! I want to know what you guys think so far.**

**Love,**

**Taylor**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

The message sat unopened in my phone. I would have read it as soon as it came but I wasn't allowed. One, it went against my rules no phones during the show, if the guys saw me with my phone out I would never hear the end of it. Two, any other electronics turning on or being used could upset the sound system and that would cause many problems.

It was hard but I did manage to not even pull my phone out of my pocket. Instead, for the remainder of the show, I kept myself busy by making sure everything ran on time. Anyone who would have any business contacting me would have known that I was busy and wouldn't pick up. So I couldn't even try to imagine who would be trying to contact me.

When the show ended I was even more haste in getting everyone on to the buses. The bus started pulling out of the parking lot and was chased by screaming fans for at least half a mile. Tired I flopped down on the back couch and pulled my cell out of my pocket and unlocked the screen. I was going to click into the message when I heard something crash and swearing.

"What'd you break?" I ask getting up from the couch. Closing my eyes, I walk into the kitchen/very small dining room.

"Watch your step," Kendall warns me and I look down. One of them had dropped a glass and the shards were strewn across the floor. There was no need to get upset over it, so I slid my phone back into my pocket and grabbed a broom. The message would have to wait until later. The guys had moved to the couch and I finished cleaning up the mess in under five minuets.

"Alright," I start standing up as I go and dump the glass shards into the garbage. "How about I make you guys some dinner, what do you want?"

"Can we stop at Mc Donalds or something?" Carlos asks and I look over at him.

"I'd say yes, but I have no idea where we are on the road." All of them looked at me, it was odd the four of them normally wanted to eat healthy. "Fine I'll go ask if we can stop."

I hear Carlos calls after me, "you're the best Alex." Looking over my shoulder I smile, then knock on the door to the drivers cab and walk in.

"Hey Alex," Davidson greats me, not taking his eyes off the road.

"Hi, Dave," I begin sitting down in the passenger seat, "how far out of our way would it be to stop at a Mc Donalds?"

"I knew you wanted something, no it's not that out of our way. Get me a list of what the guys want and I'll stop."

"Thanks Dave," I briskly say heading back out into the main part of the bus. Immediately James steps forward and hands me a list. I turn around and go back into Dave's section of the bus. Smiling I hand him the list, he takes a look at it then looks up at me.

"Damn these boys eat a lot, so what do you want?" he remarked.

"Get me the most normal salad they have and a fruit smoothy," I respond as I reach into my back pocket and grab out my wallet. Opening it up I pull out a fifty and hold it out to Dave. "You think this will cover it?"

"It should," he smiles taking the money. I walk back into the living quarters of the bus and find my four boys no where to be seen. I know they didn't go to bed and assume that they have taken over the back lounge. It takes me under twenty seconds to slowly walk to the lounge.

When I reach it and walk down the two steps, I see that they have planned a video game marathon. Each guy has a controller and James is loading the disk. Left for Dead pops up on the screen and who ever has the main controller presses play. I sit down next to Kendall, who kisses me quickly on the cheek, and pull my phone out again.

Sighing I see that the screen has locked its self again. The sound booming of machine guns blasts through the surround sound speakers and they start to kill animated zombies. I open my messages and right at the top is the one that I hadn't gotten to open when it came. The name of who it came from instantly made my heart drop: Katie. I hoped the depressed shock didn't show on my face.

Resting my head on my hand, I opened the message. Sighing I read: Hi Alex, I heard or more specifically read, that you are having trouble with hate mail. I'd apologize if I didn't think that you deserved it. What's it like to finally hear the truth?

"Why can't she just leave me alone?" I wonder out loud. "What did I ever do to her?" Kendall pauses the game noticing my conflicted state.

"Who texted you?" he asks looking at my phone.

"Katie," I told him tossing my phone on the floor.

"What did she want?" James asked setting his xbox controller on the floor.

"She didn't want anything," I sarcastically begin trying to keep the bite out of my voice, "all Katie wants to do is make my life a living hell." Out of the corner of my eye, I watch Kendall pick up my phone and unlock the screen. He keeps it long enough to read the message then hands it back to me. Distastefully I glance down at the screen once more then turn the phone off. For a split second I thought about sending Katie a message back, I even thought about calling her. My mind changed when I thought about the consequences. Calling or texting Katie back would only result in backfiring on me.

I hadn't even realize the bus had stopped until Dave came back to the lounge and started handing out food.

"You should have seen the shock on the workers faces when they saw the tour bus pulling in." Dave exclaimed before turning and going back up front. This time I hear it when the bus starts up. We start moving and I assume that we'd pulled back on to the high way. I found I amazing that the four guys could eat as fast as they did. Kendall started the game back up as I went around and picked up the fast food wrappers. Done cleaning up four messes that weren't mine I headed back into the lounge to watch Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan kill zombies. I had just sat down next to Kendall again when my phone buzzed, this time I answered it.

**Katie: **So you're not answering me now?

**Me: **No, I wasn't planning on it.

**Katie: **Hollywood has really changed you hasn't it? You're all famous now so you don't have any time for your best friend?

**Me: **Best friend? Really? You hate me. Just because I'm where I am and you didn't do the same isn't an excuse to hope I have a fucked up life. Don't you think it's already hard enough having to deal with people invading your life, taking pictures of you and creating stories? Having to know there are people out there who hate you for no reason, knowing that they watch you and send you spiteful messages? I envy you for being able to have a life. I have to look over my shoulder constantly. Do you even know how stressful it is to know that if you piss off the public your career, the people your associate with, your friends could all be thrown away? Just leave me alone Katie. I never did anything to you. I don't need one more enemy.

**Katie: **Sounds so horrible the way you put it. You don't think about this the way I do. You have money, a privileged life style, a huge house in a protected high class neighborhood, an extremely hot and famous boyfriend, 99% of your friends are famous. You can buy whatever you want with out having to worry about having enough money for rent, you can afford all the luxuriates in life that most people will never know. So don't go on about how hard your life is because you don't know what hard is.

**Me: **You don't get it. You never will. I'm done talking Katie, please don't contact me again.

**Katie:** Go on, run to your famous boyfriend and his famous friends and tell them how mean I am. You haven't heard the last from me Alex, I'm not done.

I read Katie's last message and I turned my phone off. I watched as Kendall's avatar died in a mob of zombies and crawled up on to his lap. He wrapped his arms around me and I closed my eyes pressing my face into his chest. I wasn't going to cry but could help but wonder: is it ever going to get better?

**(A/N) This one's a little longer. Please review. Will work on updating as soon as I can. I just want to thank everyone who has stuck with me through out this story. :)**

**Love,**

**Taylor**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

"Aren't you happy?" Kendall asks me as we step off the tour bus for the last time. "I love touring but we're finally home."

"Of course I am, I don't have to be in close quarters with James, Carlos and Logan any more," I answer him smiling. Kendall reaches the front door first and opens it. Somehow I manage to squeeze in before him and am met by an over ecstatic Layla. She jumps up and I catch her in my arms. Instantly, Layla begins licking my face.

My eyes squeeze shut and I wrinkle my nose, as my puppy's tongue slides over my face. Kendall walks up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. I lean back into his chest and Layla jumps out of my arms and onto the floor. Kendall presses his lips down on my shoulder, then moves up and kisses my neck. When he pulls back I twist around in his arms so I'm facing him.

His hands drop down from my waist to my hips, and I feel his grip tighten. I wrap my arms around his neck and find myself getting lost in his emerald green eyes. Kendall leans down and presses his lips to mine. My eyes close and I kiss him back. His tongue brushes along my bottom lip. When I part my lips slightly Kendall instantly deepens the kiss.

I twist my fingers in his thick hair and feel him pick me up. With out breaking the kiss, Kendall, me down on the living room couch. He pushes up my shirt and trails his fingers along my back. I press lightly against his muscular chest. I don't know how much time had passed until Kendall did start pulling back. He pressed his forehead against mine and I felt his warm breath spread across my face.

"Making out is not a valid reason to not shut your front door," Logan announces as he walks in not bothering to knock. Kendall sits up on the couch and I roll off.

"Why are you here?" I ask him refraining from stomping my foot in frustration. I mean I spend three months on a tour bus with this guy and he doesn't even have the common sense to know that I don't want to see him for at least two weeks.

"I got lonely," is Logan's response as he walks in, closing the open door behind him.

"And you didn't go bother James or Carlos why?"

"You two need a chaperone."

"You are not one to talk," I exclaim, "I should start following you around so that I can warn every girl that you flirt with to run the other way, Mr. I Only Use Girls for One Night Stands."

"Okay Alex that hurt."

"She has a point buddy," Kendall points out, "you are kind of a manwhore."

"You two are assholes," Logan snaps as he sits down next to Kendall on the couch.

"No, you just wont except the truth," I inform him, snatching the television remote out of his hand.

"Hey, give that back!" he complains reaching for it.

"No, my house my rules."

"What does that have to do with not letting me use the TV?"

"It has to do with me not wanting a television blaring as I start unpacking and twenty loads of laundry that I do not want to do."

"What does that have to do me?" he asks.

"You're in my house, that's what it has to do with me."

"Dude just give up," Kendall advises him, "you're not going to win."

"You are so wrapped around you're girlfriend's finger," Logan teases him starting to laugh.

"At least I have a girlfriend," Kendall nonchalantly said back shutting Logan up.

"I think a relationship would do you good, Logan," I tell him looking down at the two boys.

"Yeah but I can still get laid with out being tied down in a relationship," Logan informed me smugly.

I glared at him sometimes this boy really made me mad, "you know, Kendall's right you are a manwhore."

"That hurts Alex," I hear Logan yell after me as I walk into the kitchen.

"What does my boyfriend and his annoyance want to eat?" I yell into the living room opening the shutters that closed off the window between the kitchen and living room. Crossing my arms I leaned down on the counter.

"Yo, Alex, nice wrack!" Logan yelled staring at my chest.

"Yo, pervert," I yell back, "don't make me come and smack you!" Just as I say that Kendall hits him in the back of the head, hard.

"That work for ya Alex?" Kendall asks then smiles a smile that I know means nothing good is going to be said next. "Even though I could agree with him."

"See, I'm not wrong," Logan chimes in and I glare at him again.

"Kendall?" I ask.

"Yeah?"

"Hit him again."

My boyfriend hits one of his best friends in the back of the head again. I sigh and roll my eyes. Welcome back what I would call normal life.

**(A/N) Review? Please? Thanks. **


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

"Wake up," I mumble hitting Kendall over the head with a pillow.

"I'm not the one who has to go to work today," he mumbles back, "you do."

"And if I have to get up at seven in the morning so do you," I reason pulling the blankets over my head.

"Where is the fairness in that?" he tiredly exclaims, throwing the pillow back.

"There is none. Now, get up." I pull the blanket off my head and look over at my boyfriend who is trying to fall back to sleep. "Did Logan leave last night?"

"Yeah don't you remember," he laughs as if recalling a memory, "you chased him out of the house with a broom."

"No I did not," I defend lightly punching him in the arm.

"You're right, he's passed out on the couch," Kendall admits, "I told you not to give him the third beer."

"Yeah well I shouldn't have had the third beer," I grumble rolling off my side of the bed.

"Do you have a hangover?" he asks sliding out from under the covers and walking around to my side of the bed, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I have a headache and I'm tired. Kim knows I just got back why is she making me come in?" I complain pressing my head into his chest.

"Well I'm not Kim so I don't know."

"Will you call in and say I'm sick?"

"Do you have a reason for why I should?"

"I've called in sick for you."

"I was actually sick."

"Please?"

"No, go to work," Kendall looks over at the digital clock I have sitting on my nightstand, "as of now you have one hour to get ready." He leans down and starts kissing my neck. I feel his arms tighten around my waist and lean in to him.

"How is this supposed to make me want to go to work?" I moan and feel his lips move down to my shoulder.

"It's not," he whispers against my collar bone.

"Then call in sick for me," I bargain as I try to turn around in his arms. He locks them around me tighter and I can't.

"Baby," he whispers into my ear, "you have to go to work."

"Why don't you just let me do that?" I struggle slightly against his grasp with every word. Kendall chuckles and drops his arms. I turn around to face Kendall and wrap my arms around him. Standing on my tiptoes I press my lips to his.

"What are we doing for breakfast?" I hear Logan yell up the stairs. _Dammit_, I think to myself, _Kendall hadn't been kidding. Logan was still here._

I pull my lips from Kendall's and yell back, "you know how to cook, we have a kitchen, go make yourself something!"

"That would involve doing something!"

"It won't hurt you!"

"You don't know that!"

Rolling his eyes, Kendall decides to intervene, "Logan shut up and go home!"

"Oh sorry!" he starts sarcastically, "I forgot you two normally fuck in the morning!"

I stomp my foot in frustration, "I am going to kill your friend." Officially pissed off I trample down the stairs.

"Please no serious injuries," Kendall yells from the top of the stairs.

"No promises," I whisper under my breath then address the one person I desperately want out of my house. "Logan Henderson!" I yell. "Where the fuck are you?"

"See you can't think about anything else," Logan remarks walking out of my kitchen, eating something I bought.

"Just please get the fuck out of my house," I beg him. "What do you want? I'll bring pizza to set one day when season four starts filming."

"Deal," he happily agrees, "where are my keys."

"Your pocket."

"See ya later A," he shouts walking out the front door.

"Come on Layla," I coax, "let's go outside." My normally hyper puppy wakes up and stretches before slowly walking over to me. I crouch down and ruffle her already messed up, shiny light brown fur. She suddenly darts toward the sliding glass door that leads out to the massage yard. As soon as I open it Layla runs out and I shut the door behind her.

"You get Logan out yet?" I hear Kendall ask from the top of the stairs.

"Yes," I answer turning around just in time to see Kendall come stumbling down the stairs. He almost falls and I lunge forward to catch him even though it wouldn't have done any good. I was too far away. To my great relief Kendall managed to catch himself on the hand rail and jumped the last two steps.

"Good, he might be my friend, but that boy knows how to grate on both of our nerves," Kendall remarks coming over to wrap his arms around my waist.

"I now have thirty minuets to get ready for work," I complain, "and you're not helping."

"I could," he whispers seductively into my ear, pushing my tank up. When I don't object, he pushes it up even further, exposing my entire belly. I feel Kendall's nose brush lightly against my cheek as he nibbles playfully on my earlobe.

"If this is what you call helping," I giggle, "then you really need to change your definition."

"I like my definition, baby," he slurs pressing his lips against my neck, tightening his arms around my waist.

"Well it has nothing to do with getting me ready for work. The only time my pants are coming off this morning is if I'm getting in the shower," I inform him struggling to keep my voice even. An oh so familiar grin spreads on Kendall's lips and I find it necessary to add, "alone."

"Why must you ruin all my fun?" his hands quickly drop down to my groin, "come on baby, please?"

"No," I answer him firmly.

"I love you baby," his lips trail along my collar bone with every word, "I need you baby, please?"

"I love you too, but the answer is still no."

"Tonight?"

"Maybe. Now let me get ready for work."

**(A/N) Okay, I know it's short, I'll be working on more chapters later. You guys must get tired of me asking but please review. Honestly, I love reading them, knowing what you guys think keeps me motivated. I've also started a second story, if you haven't yet, please check it out. I'll work on updating that one every Wednesday. Just so you know it's titled Upside Down. **

**Alright, I'm done promoting my new story. Sorry about the extremely long A/N. Oh, and I want to thank everyone who's reading.**

**Love, **

**Taylor**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

"Long day?" I hear Kendall yell from the kitchen as I walk in and slam the door behind me.

"You don't even know the half of it," I complain throwing my purse down on the couch before storming into the kitchen.

"I made dinner," he offers trying to get me off topic. It doesn't work but I do calm down a little. Kendall turns the stove off and walks over to me and begins to rub my shoulders. I relax against his touch and close my eyes. "So, what pissed you off today?"

"Jackass," I answer as if it's supposed to make sense.

"Which one? Kim's boss or your boss?" Kendall asks as he starts rubbing my neck.

"Kim's boss," I tell him then continue, beginning my after work rant. "Apparently Jackass didn't give Kim all of the information on my writing a sequel. So now I have a fucking deadline. I don't do deadlines. You know, I thought I had made that very clear when I signed the legal contract with my lawyer."

"The contract you signed agreeing to a three book deal has written in it that you can not be submitted to any type of deadline concerning your writing?" Kendall asks me.

"Yes," I answer opening my eyes then close them again and murmur, "what you're doing right now, keep doing it."

"Your wish is my command, princess," he whispers in my ear.

"I could get used to you calling me that," I whisper back.

"What," he asks in normal tone, "princess?"

"Yeah," I mumble leaning into his chest, "princess."

"Okay, back to the contract stuff," he announces suddenly, "they can't legally make you have a second book finished on a certain date. Get that lawyer guy, who I do not like, and have him get rid of your deadline."

"I'm going to do that," I agree, "hey babe, when did you get all smart about the contract stuff?"

"Since I started acting, you have to know this crap."

"Makes sense," I agree, "now what did you make for dinner?"

Kendall laughs, "I've been waiting for that question."

"Yeah, so now answer it."

"Must you be so pushy?"

"Yes, I'm hungry, stop stalling. What were you cooking on the stove?"

"Nothing."

"Really, I thought you were making dinner."

"Yeah, I kind of called in dinner."

"What do you mean?" I ask Kendall, stepping away from him.

"I started making dinner, realized that I have no clue where you keep anything, picked up my cell and ordered pizza." I chuckle and roll my eyes just as the door bell rings.

"I'm guessing that's dinner," I smile as Kendall runs to answer the door. For the first time I notice the mess he had managed to make and start cleaning it up. I laugh quietly wondering how he had managed to screw up the entire kitchen with only pots, pans a couple bowls and access to flower, sugar and an assortment of spices.

"And you would be correct," he announces waltzing into the kitchen, setting the pizza box on the dining room table.

I walk over and sit down, "do me a favor next time baby, just order the pizza and leave cooking to me."

"Will do, now can you get some plates?"

"You get some plates," I counter talking through a mouth full of pizza.

"I would but I have no idea where you keep them."

"In the cupboard."

"Which one, there's like twenty."

"Fine I'll get them," I say getting up. "It's pizza why do you need a plate anyway?" I ask walking back over handing him one of the large dinner plates.

"Because if I set it down on your dining room table you will get mad and I don't need you getting mad."

"Didn't think about that but I'm glad you did because you're right using my dining table would make me pretty mad."

"See I do listen."

"Never said you didn't, I just say that you only hear what you want to here."

"Exactly like right now, I've stopped paying attention."

"At least your honest." I say agreeing with him even though I hate it when he blocks me out. I shouldn't complain though, he does remember my birthday and all other important dates that I often forget.

"What is something important happening this month?" Kendall asks me as he gets up to throw the pizza box out.

"I don't know," I complain turning around in my chair, "you're the one who remembers all the important dates and stuff."

"How is it," Kendall begins walking back over to me, "that you can remember what time your TV shows come on and we both know they change all the time, but you can't remember single days in the year that never change."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Birthdays Alex," he smiles, "shit you'd forget yours if I didn't remind you."

"And that, my human calendar," I laugh getting up, "is very true."

"Oh, so now I'm a calendar?" Kendall asks as I wrap my arms around him.

"Yes," I answer, standing on my toes, kissing him on the lips.

"So when did I switch from being a pillow?"

"You're still a pillow, and designated driver, and whatever I need you to be," I say kissing him in between thoughts.

Kendall rests his forehead against mine and smiles, "so do you what to know whose birthday is this month?"

"Sure."

"My mom's," Kendall informs me.

I step away from him and shake my head as I go let Layla out, "how could I forget. I love your mom. How old is she going to be, thirty?"

"Look I'm not my mom, sucking up isn't needed," Kendall reminds me.

"I am not sucking up, but I suggest you do. When is your mom's birthday?"

"Saturday."

"In other words tomorrow."

"Yes in other words I told you a little to late."

"Right, now were any plans made?"

"I was hoping you could help me with that."

"I have today, and it's not even a whole day. What the hell am I supposed to plan in one day?"

"Calm down Alex, you know my mom. She doesn't like anything big for her birthday. I was just hoping you would call the cake place since I can't stand them." I relax at his reasoning knowing that Kathy would probably not enjoy anything fancy or expensive.

"Get me the phone, I don't think they like you either."

**(A/N) Thanks for reading, if you want you can review. :)**


	19. Chapter 19

"I'm so sorry we're late," I apologize hugging Kathy, "we woke up late, and then the bakery wasn't done with the cake, and I lost track of time."

"Alex, stop babbling, it's fine," Kathy assures me smiling, "did you say you brought cake?"

"Yes," Kendall answers intervening, "we brought cake. Happy birthday mom." He kisses Kathy lightly on the cheek and pushes past us into the house, holding the cake above his head.

Kathy looks at me, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips, "you're thinking the same thing as me, aren't you?" she asks.

"That if we don't get in there now four boys will have eaten the entire cake?" I suggest raising my eyebrow.

"And this is why I like you," Kathy agrees holding the front door for me. I step in and she closes it behind me.

"So, where's the party?" I ask following Kathy as she leads me through the house. We walk through the kitchen and I pick up Katy's new kitten Bella. She meows and I ruffle her soft black and white fur.

"I've got everyone down in the den. Sadly I gave all the guys alcohol and left poor Lauren in charge of them," Kathy admits looking over her shoulder at me.

"Did she bring Amanda?" I ask as we start down the small flight of stairs.

"And her son," Kathy smiles and I chuckle. Lauren had started the joke about James being her other child and it had caught on. We walk into the den and immediately I see Amanda running towards me. She's wearing jeans, an old tee shirt, and no shoes.

I bend down so that I'm looking her in the eye, Bella jumps out of my arms and runs over to Amanda. "So," I ask her smiling, "you don't have to be famous today?"

"Nope," she chirps, "isn't it great?"

"It very much is," I agree, "I see you don't have to wear any shoes today."

"Yeah, no shoes," she states smirking then smiles again and asks, "when can we go get our nails done?"

"How about tomorrow?" I ask knowing that I'll have to check with Lauren.

"Can mommy come then?" Amanda asks, "she doesn't have to work tomorrow either."

"Well," I say, "you can ask her."

"Mommy!" Amanda yells and Lauren comes over setting her beer down on the end table by the couch.

"Yes Amanda," Lauren smiles bending down next to her daughter.

"Can I go with Aunt Alex to get my nails done tomorrow?"

"Yes you can," Lauren informs her looking at me.

"Do you want to come?" Amanda then asks.

"Sure, it can be a girls day," Lauren agrees then stands up, "why don't you go see daddy and the guys?"

"Okay," answers Amanda quickly before running off. Lauren looks up at me.

"What time should we come over?"

"Around twelve," I say, "hey where did you get the beer?"

"Cooler," she says pointing.

"Thanks." I walk over to the small blue and white cooler and lift the lid. After digging through the ice I find a Bud Light and pull it out.

"Who showed you where the alcohol was?" Kathy asks coming up behind me.

"Lauren," I admit, then add as I crack my beer, "but you didn't here it from me."

"Of course I didn't," Kathy agrees trying and failing to keep a straight face.

"When are we going to cut the cake?" Carlos shouts not necessarily to anyone in particular. I glance over at Kathy who answers him.

"Right now."

"Oh, yeah," yells Carlos clapping his hands. I roll my eyes taking a swig of beer, already I can tell that he has had a little too much to drink. Kathy brings the cake out into the den and sets in on the bar. We all sing happy birthday, she blows out the candles and cuts the first piece. Kathy finises carving up the rest of the cake and hands it out.

I finish my one beer and stop, knowing that tonight I would have to be the designated driver. About an hour later I'm dragging a very drunk Kendall out of Kathy's house and demanding that he hand over the keys. With a little help from Kathy I manage to pry them out of his grip and shove him into the passenger side of the car. Pulling up the driveway I debate wither or not to leave the half passed out Kendall on the couch or to drag him up stairs to bed.

Once I had managed to get him out of the car and through the front door I decided that I was tired of being the nice girlfriend and set him up on the couch. He had passed out completely before I had gotten back with the blanket and pillow. I kissed him lightly on the forehead and started up the stairs after I took Layla out. My shirt was half off when Kendall's cell phone started ringing. Sighing irritated I finished pulling the shirt off and went to go answer it.

"Who is calling at twelve at night?" I snap into the phone.

"Alex?" asks surprised voice on the other end.

"Speaking," I answer wanting to end the conversation so that I could get to bed.

"It's Scot, sorry about calling so late, but I'm going to need Kendall to come in tomorrow at ten. I was just told that we're going to have to have season four out a week earlier than the set release date. Can you make sure he gets the message?"

"Of course," I promise before adding, "he might be a little hungover tomorrow."

"How bad?"

"Bad enough to where he is passed out on the couch and I'm going to bed."

"It's a good thing that we're only briefing the script tomorrow then," Scot muses temporarily forgetting that he has some one on the phone.

"Good night Scot," I tell him before hanging up. Some how I manage to turn Kendall's phone off. He keeps getting the updated iPhones and I have to learn how to operate each one. I change into boxers and a tank and roll into bed after setting my alarm clock for eight thirty. Now I had to get a hungover Kendall ready for work tomorrow, that's always fun. At least Lauren and I would have something to talk about as we got our nails done tomorrow.

**(A/N) Sorry, I know that this update is late but I've been having internet trouble. My stupid laptop wont stay connected to the wireless internet. Anyway if you want you can always review. :)**

**Thanks,**

**Taylor **


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

"Wake up," I say for the third time shaking Kendall's shoulder, "Scot called last night he needs you on set at ten."

"Stop messing with me and let me sleep, Alex," my hungover boyfriend complains.

"I'm not messing with you, you have to go to set today, now get up," I insist. "Don't make me push you off this couch."

Kendall bolts up on the couch holding his head, "so you're saying Nickelodeon changed the dates we have to start shooting on?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying, now get up and I'll get you something for that headache."

"What time is it?" Kendall asks as he slowly stands up and heads over to the stairs.

I look at the DVD player, "eight fifty," I inform him.

He seems to relax just a little, "at least I've got some time."

"And it's ticking away. Now go get in the shower and get dressed and I'll make you something to eat and get you something to help with the headache." I watch Kendall as he takes the stairs two at a time. For someone with a hangover he can move pretty damn fast. I'm standing by the door, holding two Tylenol and a glass of water, by the time he comes stumbling down the stairs.

"How much time do I have to get to set?" he asks taking the pills and water.

I look over at a clock, "forty minuets. Now do you have your phone?"

"Yes," he holds it out for me to see.

"Good, now keys?"

"Yes," he too holds those out for me to see.

"Give me the glass and get going," I give him a quick kiss on the cheek, "now if they're going to have you stay past nine call me, okay?"

"I know the routine."

"Yes, but the one time I don't remind you you'll forget."

"See you later babe," Kendall calls over his shoulder as he unlocks the car. I step out onto the porch and wave goodbye as he pulls out of the driveway and starts down the street. When he's out of sight I go back into the house locking the door behind me.

"Layla," I call and my tiny, at least I call her tiny, puppy wakes up and comes running toward me. She barks once and follows me to the back door. I open it and she runs out. After watching her for a while I shut the sliding glass door and headed toward the stairs. Climbing the stairs two steps at a time. I make it to my room almost to quickly and I forget why I was there.

Just as quickly I remember and head to the bathroom. Stepping out of the shower, I wrap myself in a towel and walk out into my bedroom. Glancing over at the clock I see that it's already nine and breathe a sigh of relief. Lauren and Amanda wont be here until or around twelve. In a matter of thirty minuets I was dressed, found both my shoes, and was sitting at my small vanity set applying foundation.

When my complexion was even, I picked up my charcoal black eyeliner pencil and began to line my eyes. Finished with that, I grabbed a clear lip gloss applied it and tossed it into my bag. Looking over at the digital clock I have sitting on my nightstand I see that it's now ten. Sighing I get up and walk back into the bathroom and plug in my hairdryer.

Completely finished with getting ready I head down stairs. Before letting Layla in I fill her bowl and water then walk over to the sliding glass door where she's sitting, waiting patiently for me to hurry up and open it. When I do, Layla, comes charging in and over to her food. I watch as she makes a huge mess that I'll have to clean up later.

Following Layla's example I walk into the kitchen and grab myself a protein bar for breakfast. My dog finishes eating and making her mess and runs off as I grab a towel, bend down and start to clean up the mess. I hear the door bell ring and stand up. Before going to answer it I throw the towel into the laundry room and run to answer the door as the bell rings again.

"You're early!" I exclaim as I open the door to Lauren and Amanda. Amanda runs in scooting around me, probably looking for Layla. "Come in," I move out of the way and Lauren steps in.

"I know, like two hours, but I was getting tired of Amanda asking me when it was time to come and well I knew that Kendall wasn't here so I thought you might want some company." Lauren admits sitting down on the couch.

"Aunt Alex!" Amanda calls from somewhere in the house, "I can't find Layla!"

"Keep looking!" I yell back sitting down next to Lauren, "maybe she went up stairs!"

"Okay," starts Lauren smiling, "did Kendall pass out on the couch last night?"

"Yeah, how'd you know? The pillow or blanket?"

"I just wanted to make sure I wasn't the only one who had to deal with a drunk member of Big Time Rush last night and a hungover one this morning," Lauren answers chuckling.

"You know, I pictured this conversation in a nail salon," I tell her.

"Me too, I just don't think Amanda did hence the reason we're here so early," Lauren agrees. "So yours passed out on the couch too?"

"Yeah, and the car, and the porch and the living room floor," I list off the places I had to wake Kendall up from last night.

"Oh, you had it bad," Lauren sympathizes, "I left mine in the car."

"Yes and the car!" I exclaim listing off the last place Kendall passed out last night.

"Did you make the nail appointment?" she asks me changing the subject.

"Yes, for twelve thirty."

"Well, it's ten twenty now," Lauren informs me looking at her cell phone. "What do you want to do?"

"First we should find Amanda, ask her what she wants to do," I answer standing up.

"Where did she go?"

"Where does she always go when she comes over," I ask knowing that Lauren knows the answer. She looks at me and we both head upstairs. For some reason when ever Amanda came over she always went into my room and played with Layla. We weren't sure why she liked that room but she did and it didn't take very long to find her. She was sitting on the bed laughing as Layla ran around her.

"Amanda," begins Lauren and the little girl looks up, "we're not getting out nails done until twelve thirty. What do you want to do, cause we're not staying here and messing up Alex's house?"

**(A/N) Hope you like, I know the chapter doesn't seem finished but it'll make sense in the next chapter. Will update as soon as I can. Thanks for reading.**

**Love,**

**Taylor**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-one

I look over at Lauren, take a sip of my Coke, and listen to the wonderful screams of little children. "Next time," I begin and Lauren looks over at me, "Amanda doesn't choose the place we spend two hours I do."

"Hey Aunt Alex!" I hear Amanda yell for the tenth time, "look at me!"

"I'm looking!" I yell back, and for the tenth time I watch her swing successfully across the monkey bars for the tenth time. "That was great," I smile as she runs toward me. Amanda jumps up onto the bench Lauren and I are sitting on and my phone starts to buzz. Expecting Kendall I roll my eyes and pull it out of my pocket as Lauren tries to get Amanda to sit down.

Without looking at the phone I unlocked the screen and opened the message. Squinting at the glare the sun bounced off my phone I made an effort to read the message.

**Kendall: **Hey, babe, they're having us stay late tonight. Like past twelve late. Oh, and James asked me to ask you if you could tell Lauren that he has to stay as late as me. Love ya, see you sometime tomorrow.

**Me:** I love you too, and tell James that I'll tell Lauren because he's to lazy to pick up his phone and text his wife.

**Kendall:** I'll tell him. Now I've got to put my phone away before Scot takes it from me because we're starting to shoot.

"Who was that?" Lauren asks me as I slide my phone back in my pocket.

"Kendall," I answer, "he's going to be staying late and so is James I was asked to tell you that since he's too lazy to pick up his phone and text you."

"How late?"

"Past twelve late."

"Damn," Lauren exclaims, "you'd think they'd give the guys a break they just got off tour."

"So did I, it's not fun but does have it's perks," I muse.

"What's it like?" asks Lauren.

"What's what like?" I ask back momentarily confused.

"Touring with the guys."

"Hectic, crazy, I might have gone slightly insane from being in such close quarters with all of them." Lauren laughed. "It's true," I insist and she laughs again.

"What's so funny?" asks Amanda a questioned look tainting her face.

I wrap an arm around her shoulders, "you'll understand when your older."

"Why do I have to be older?" she asks squinting at me.

"Because, according to you mom, I'm not allowed to call your dad certain names around you," I chuckle and Amanda looks at me funny again.

"What kind of names," she asks.

"Names that you should not call people," I tell her sternly.

"Then why do you call dad those names?"

"Because sometimes he deserves to be called certain names," I try and reason.

"Like I said, I'm not allowed to say them around you."

"Mom, why can't Aunt Alex say the names?" asks Amanda.

"Because Aunt Alex shouldn't say the words just like you shouldn't," Lauren reasons hoping to end the discussion.

"I thought they were names," Amanda points out.

"Same thing."

I look down at my phone, "hey Lauren we should probably get going, our nail appointment's in twenty minuets."

She grabs her purse and Amanda's hand, "alright let's go."

Ten minuets later all three of us are sitting in salon chairs as manicurists buff, file, and paint our nails. Lauren had picked a blood-red color for her polish and I picked black. Wanting to match me, and against her mothers advice, Amanda had picked the same color.

"So what was it really like on tour?" Lauren asks me.

"Well one night, the stage broke down during the performance. Another, same night, I was pelted with foam darts from Nerf guns. I also have twenty bouncy balls if you're interested."

Lauren lets out a sharp laugh, "really, how'd they get Nerf guns and bouncy balls?"

"The funny thing is I have no idea how they snuck them in. I checked their bags and watched them board the bus."

"Can't say I blame you for checking the bags," comments Lauren as she admires the shine of her nails. Our nails finish drying and I go up to the front desk and pay. Lauren and Amanda follow me out of the salon.

"What are we doing next?" Amanda asks excited as she jumps the parking block and grabs Lauren's hand as we walk through the parking lot toward the car.

"We're going home," Lauren informs her, "I'm sure Alex has things to do."

"I'll stop by my house so you can pick up your car." I pull into the hug drive way connected to the garage. Lauren and Amanda get out and head over to their car. I walk over give my friend a hug, ruffle Amanda's curls and head toward the front door as Lauren starts the car and pulls out onto the road.

Unlocking the front door, I push it open, step into the house and close it again. I pull my phone out of my pocket and check the time. It's one and I remember that I promised Logan that I'd bring pizza to set one day for lunch. Scot normally lets the guys off for lunch right about now so I figured, since I had nothing better to do, that I'd bring it today.

It took me a total of thirty minuets to get the pizza, drive to set and park. I got out of the car, grabbed the pizza off the passenger seat, and slammed the doors. My heals clacked on the black assault of the parking lot. I made it to the front doors and hit the buzzer to be let in. Kristy's annoying voice came over the speaker. I roll my eyes how is it they have her working hours at both sides of the Big Time Rush building. I just can't escape her when I come to the Nickelodeon studios.

"Who is it?" she snaps as though her job obviously wasn't worth her time.

"Your favorite person in world," I snap back, "now let me in."

"Alex Kross? Why should I?" Kristy replies in a slightly singing voice.

"Because you don't want me to have to call some one of more importance than you to come and let me in," I answer shifting my weight from one leg to another.

"Still the answer is no. You have no business here go and do whatever it is rich, prissy girls do since they don't have to work," Kristy snaps.

"How many times must we go over this Kristy?" I begin as though I'm explaining something to a small child, which if I'm going to be honest is an insult to Amanda referring to Kristy as a small child, "I do have as much business here as one of the actors or Scot. Two, what did I tell you about calling me prissy? Three unlock the damn door before I call Scot."

"How is it you have everyone wrapped around your finger except me?" Kristy says her words intertwined with venom.

"People happen to like and or are scared of me and I just happen to be in a five year long relationship with an important part of Nickelodeon talent. Let me in now Kristy," I explain getting mildly irritated.

"No."

"Alright!" I yell into the speaker, "I'm calling Scot now!"

"Go ahead!" Kristy yells back obviously thinking that I wouldn't do it because they might be shooting. Yeah, you'd think that after five years she'd know that I don't give a fuck whether or not they're shooting. I was getting in that building one way or another. I dialed Scot's number and held the phone up to my ear. It rang one time before an irritated Scot answered the phone.

"What?" he snapped into the phone.

"Tell Kristy to let Alex Kross into the building," I snap back.

"Wait, Alex?" Scot asks his voice evening.

"Yes now tell this," I press the button so that Kristy can hear me, "uptight bitch with jealousy issues to let me in before I break the door down."

"You have the speaker on don't you?" Scot asks me in a monotone voice.

"Yes."

"Put the phone up to it." I do as he says and the doors open in a flash. I walk in and hang up, shouldering my bag I head toward the elevators hoping to avoid a fuming front desk worker. Luck wasn't working in my favor to day and Kristy had to open her big mouth.

"You had to actually called Scot?" she whines.

"Yes, I wanted in."

"What's with the pizza?" she asks.

"Because it's your business, I promised one of the guys that I'd bring pizza one day to set for lunch, okay can I go now?" I wait a second, take another step toward the elevator and Kristy opens her mouth.

"Why do you get everything you want, Alex?" Kristy asks her words dripping with ice.

"Excuse me?" I ask, hoping that I heard her wrong. I didn't need to get into this today.

"You heard me Kross, answer the question."

"Why would you think that, Kristy?"

"Because one phone call gets you in the building. A flip of your flawless hair you get a famous boyfriend. Type a story out on a computer get a best selling book published. Need I go on?"

"No Kristy don't go on you don't need to get into this because there is no one to hold me back," I warn but she doesn't listen to my warning. I set the pizza and my purse down on the counter as she walks out from behind the desk knowing that it's not going to be pretty.

"Little, privileged, spoiled Alex Kross," she taunts, "she gets so angry when people tell her the truth. I don't know why she just wont admit that she gets everything she wants. You know that you do."

My head starts to spin with Kristy's words. In a way I know she's right I just wont admit it like she says. "Do you know how hard I worked to get where I am?" I ask Kristy my voice strangely calm.

"I don't know you met Kendall at a concert and here you are," she smiles.

"Yes, I met Kendall at a concert and maybe that was part of it. But do you know where and how I grew up?"

"No, we're not exactly best buddies."

"Okay, how do you think I grew up?"

"Mansion in Beverly Hills."

I laugh, shrill and sharp, "I wish. No, I grew up on the slightly higher class out skirts of Detroit. Small house, money was tight, this is the biggest break I've had. For once I don't have to worry about anything except for what's unimportant."

"You're a great actor Alex. I totally believe you but no. You act like a high class woman not a girl who grew up in the rough life of fairly higher than the poverty line."

"You don't know me, Kristy," I spat, "now move out of the way." I grab the now cold box of pizza and my purse just as the elevator doors ding open and Kendall stepped out. He had his phone out, was staring at the screen and walked over to me.

"Didn't you get the last three texts I sent you?" he asks and we look up at the same time.

"No," I tell him, "I was just talking with Kristy." Walking forward I grab his arm and pull him to the elevators, "let's go."

"What's going on-" Kendall begins before I cut him off.

"Let's go now." I press the button next to the elevator and the doors slowly slide open. Hastily I push Kendall inside and step in just as the doors begin to close.

"I'll ask again," he begins, "what is going on?"

"Nothing," I insist and hope he drops it. Needless to say, he doesn't.

"There's something. You wouldn't have spent that much time with Kristy ignoring your phone for nothing. Now tell me or I am stopping this elevator."

"Fine, fine, fine! I'll tell you. Just don't stop the elevator, last time you did that no one would stop talking about it. Wait let me think they still wont stop talking about it."

"Alex, calm down," Kendall instructs me, "what did Kristy say that has got you so riled up?"

"She brought up painful memories."

"Memories I know?"

"Yes, memories you know," I answer as the elevator doors open. Leaving Kendall in the hall I head toward the break room, knowing that the other three guys would most likely be there. I push through the door set the pizza down on the table covered with electronics and turned around coming face to face with Kendall's chest.

"Start talking now," he commands and I cross my arms tired of going over this.

"I've told you everything, now go and start acting or whatever it is you need to do." Kendall was about to say more when the loud speaker came on.

"Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan are needed on set now. Kendall, James, Carlos and Logan are needed on set, thank you," it blared and I smiled smugly.

"See, even the speakers are telling you to get to work. Now go." Kendall turns toward the doors, making his way to set when he looks over his shoulder.

"We're talking about this when I get home or tomorrow." He pushes through the doors onto the set and I call after him even though it's useless.

"There's nothing to talk about!"

**(A/N) Sorry it took so long to update, it's a long chapter and well it took awhile to write. Hope you guys like! Review, if you want.**

**Love,**

**Taylor**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

"I told you at the studio! There is nothing to talk about!" I scream staring down my six foot boyfriend. Honestly I would have forgotten Kristy's words if Kendall would have just stopped bringing it up.

"Alex, I know that you think it wont, but talking will help," he insists keeping his voice level. I cross my arms, still stuck in my decision to stop and not talk about it.

"No it wont," I begin for the fifth time, "shutting up about it will. Just please stop." My eyebrows scrunch together and I rub my eyes. The constant talk about what Kristy said and my reaction was just to hard to keep hiding.

"We've been together for five years," Kendall begins softly looking me in the eye. "Five years and I know so little about you, your past. Look, I'm not telling you to start spilling your life story, but I just want to know why you don't want to tell me anything." I can feel tears tugging at the corner of my eyes. I try to fight them, loosing the battle as they roll one by one down my cheeks.

"It's not like that," I almost beg hearing the desperate whine in my voice, "really it's not. Just give me some time, please."

"Five years was a lot of time."

"When I can bring myself to tell you," I confess, "you'll know why it took this long for me to." He steps forward and pulls me into a hug. I press my cheek against his chest. Kendall runs his fingers through my hair as I try to keep the tears back. I never cried about my past before and I wasn't starting now. Anything can be pushed down far enough so that it doesn't hurt as bad. Pushing down, that's what I had spent most of my life doing, pushing down the pain so that it wouldn't hurt anymore.

"What was so horrible that you can even bring yourself to talk about it?" he asks softly.

"Can we sit down?" I ask momentarily changing the subject.

"Sure," he mutters pulling me down to the couch. I pull my head off his chest and rubbed my eyes.

"The longer I put off telling you the harder it's going to be," I whisper. Coming to terms with the fact that I can no longer hide absolutely everything from him. Five years was a long time to manage to keep so many secrets. The fact that Kendall hadn't caught on to my avoiding questions and shooting down opportunity's to visit old friends and family, honestly surprised me.

"I shouldn't be pushing you," Kendall begins obviously thinking back on his previous accusations, "getting mad over something that I can't even begin to guess about isn't anything I should be expecting you to tell me."

"No," I interrupt, "you're right to be curious. You're right to wonder why I haven't told you anything."

"Me being curious doesn't give me an excuse to expect you to start answer my questions."

"But you're right. Its been five years you don't know anything about my past, other than I grew up in Detroit and that money was very tight," Kendall didn't disagree with my statement or say anything else so I continued.

"I'll start at the beginning. My parents died in a car crash when I was ten. Hence the reason you have never met them. I wasn't always worried about money or loosing the house. That was when I lived with my parents. When they died I was sent to live with my only living relatives, Aunt Barbra and Uncle Rick. Oh, how I hated them. Their near poverty life. Saying it now it sounds selfish and bitchy."

"I had my reasons though. Aunt Barbra didn't like me and Uncle Rick followed suit. Actually not liking me isn't a strong enough statement, Barbra hated me. She hated me just like she had hated my mother and insisted on taking that hate out on me." The tears sliding down my cheeks got heavier and my words jumbled. I had to take a break from the recount of the memories and Kendall pulled me to his chest, as he tried to wrap his mind around what I had just said. If he flat out told me that I was making everything up I wouldn't blame him.

"Your parents died in a car accident?" he asks me and I dry me eyes.

"Yes, my dad had a little too much to drink that night drove the car right off the bridge my mother was in the passengers seat. The doors were locked neither of them could get out."

"Your aunt and uncle took you in?"

"Sort of, they had to. Child serves made them legally adopt me. They smiled for the cameras and played the caring relatives. I almost thought that I would have a good life with them. I really didn't care about the change of lifestyle. They took me home, shut the door, and the smiles fell off their faces. The next six years of my life were hell. Physical abuse would have gotten me out of there but it wasn't physical, well the majority of it wasn't, it was all mental and emotional. As if loosing my parents and the life that I had known wasn't enough they had to make me feel as though I wasn't worth their time. A little girl who used to be well off suddenly depending on two people just trying to get by on their own."

"And you didn't tell anyone about it?"

"No one knew, it was better that way. Easier to hide it then try to make someone believe me. You've read my book right?" That catches Kendall off guard yet he still answers.

"Yeah, remember the cable went out for a week and you told me to go and read a book. The only one not in the bookshelf was sitting on your computer I pulled it up and started reading, it was so good that I wouldn't give you your laptop back until I was done reading it."

"A lot of what I have written in that is based off of actual events, you know?" I tell him halfheartedly smiling at his attempt to make me smile and pull me out of the mood I had put myself in.

"Everything your character went through? The abusive parents? The self-harm? Was that based on your life with your aunt and uncle?" Kendall asks his voice laced with concern and a pity he was trying desperately to hide.

Strangely I smile as I recall a haunting past that I call my own. "Change the abusive parents to abusive aunt and uncle and the self-harm," I roll my sleeve up and turn my arm over so that the underside of my forearm is showing. If you study it long enough you can make out the faint light pink scars caused six years ago by a dull knife blade.

Kendall grabs my arm and stares at it. After about three minuets of him not being able to find the scars I point them out to him. There's a total of ten, the other arm doesn't have any less but they are not as easy to see.

"What drove you to do this?" he finally asks breaking the silence as he runs his finger over a barely visible, pink scar.

"The psychical pain helped me cope with the emotional," I answer him evenly.

**(A/N) I'll update as soon as I can, review if you want, I hope you like.**

**Taylor**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty-Three

"Know everything you want to know?" I ask Kendall rolling my sleeve down again.

"I think I know a little more than I would have wanted," he truthfully admits looking over at me.

"I told you I kept the secrets for a reason," I say softly back, "not burdening people with my past is what I make sure I don't do. Especially people I want to stick around because I happen to like them or don't think I can live with out them."

"If you think that my knowing this is going to change anything your wrong," Kendall assures me, "you're still the same girl that I met at our concert in Detroit who was jumping and screaming like crazy and who managed to get lost finding the bathroom and ended up backstage after the show. All I know now is why you get so reserved when people accuse you about your past and childhood."

Kendall's phone starts ringing and neither of us move to go get it. It rings five times before switching to voice mail. I start to ignore it because people trying to contact Kendall normally didn't leave a message. I'm not sure why they don't but this one caught me off guard, out of everyone who would have called to leave a message I would have never expected Logan.

Voice mail recorded Logan drunk and from the sound of it the in the back of a police car. "Can one of you come bail me out of jail?" he slurs and I roll my eyes the last call Kendall got like this from Logan was three months ago, "apparently you're not allowed to dance on the tables at the bar and when you refuse to leave the building the uptight owner calls the cops like a jackass." I over hear one of the officers yell at Logan from the front seat, "what did we tell you? No phone calls. How did you even get the phone?"

The call ends and I look over at Kendall, "there's no use living in the past," I inform him briskly, "how much is it going to be to bail that idiot out this time?"

"Take five hundred," he tells me shaking his head, "if Logan's not careful he's going to get in big trouble and not only with Nickelodeon."

I grab my jacket, keys and take the five hundred dollars Kendall is handing me. "Bring him back here," he commands me smiling. I kiss him on the cheek before heading out the door and getting into the car. As I drive to the police station.

"Alex Kross?" asks the gruff voice of an officer.

"The one and only, how much is it going to cost?"

"Who you getting out?"

"Henderson."

"Ah, the boy who was on his cell phone, you the one he called?"

"Yes, now how much?"

"Three hundred, and he's going to have to be back for court Friday."

"As in tomorrow."

"Yes."

"Come with me," the officer grabbed his keys off the hook and unlocked an authorized personal only door. I followed him through it and came face to face with two walls lined with holding cells. We continue walking to Logan's cell.

"Hey," I ask and the officer turns to look at me.

"What?"

"I recognize you what's your name?"

"Rick," he answers, "I know you too, you're the girl who always comes to bail this idiot out of jail. You his girlfriend?"

"Oh hell no," I exclaim before adding, "I'm just a friend. Actually I'm his best friend's girlfriend. If that makes any sense."

"It does," Rick agrees, "you're also the one anyone calls if they need help."

"You are very right," I agree and we stop in front of Logan's cell. He's half passed out on the bench provided for the inmates. Rick unlocks the cell door, I walk in and over to Logan who I can now see is very much passed out.

"Hey!" I yell next to his ear, "wake up or I'm leaving you to spend the night here with Rick." When he doesn't respond again I yell again, "Logan Henderson you better wake the fuck up I have three hundred dollars on you right now!"

"What the fuck Alex, I was sleeping, where the fuck am I?" Logan asks groggily and I yank his arm so that he's standing.

I say my thank yous to Rick who wishes me luck on dealing with my boyfriend's drunk ass friend and reminds me that Logan has to come to court tomorrow on a drunk and disorderly conduct ticket of the second defense. I load him into the car and he falls asleep on the way back to my house. When I pull into the drive way I call Kendall to come help me get him into the house. My tired and emotionally drained boyfriend complies and helps me drag the drunk, half passed out, and non complying Logan into the house.

Distastefully I throw the half of him that I'm holding up right on to the couch. Kendall does the same and Logan nearly drops down to the floor he's slouching so bad. The only thing this picture was missing, and I'm glad that it was, is a half full bottle of beer and or liquor.

"Okay buddy," starts Kendall, "you need to stop getting wasted in public. When Nickelodeon hears about this they are not going to be very happy and you know that and if you ever do this again I'm pretty sure Alex will let you spend the night in jail. Don't you think I won't back her up on it too, you really need to learn your lesson."

"And you have court tomorrow that I have to take you to because I want my fucking three hundred dollars back!" I yell pissed that I now have to deal with court that Logan has to attend.

"I'll deal with Logan," Kendall assures me, "you go up to bed I'll be up soon." After shooting Logan one more pissed off glare I take my boyfriend's advice and head upstairs to bed. Surprisingly enough I manage to fall asleep pretty quickly. Only waking up slightly when I feel Kendall come up too and get into bed.

**(A/N) I know it's short but I wanted to update. Thanks for reading, and if you want review.**

**Love,**

**Taylor**


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty-Four

"Why are we going to court?" Logan asks me from the passenger seat and I shoot a glare at him.

"Because you are a fucking idiot who can't hold his liquor and got arrested last night for disorderly conduct and I came to bail your sorry ass out of jail," I snap and Logan turns his head to stare out the window, clearly sensing that I am about as pissed as I could get. I pull into the court house parking lot and stop the car. Logan follows my example and we slam the car doors at the same time.

"Look Alex," starts Logan shooting me puppy dog eyes for a millisecond, "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to cause you any trouble, really."

"Save it for the judge," I spit not falling for his please, please, please forgive me look, "and Nickelodeon." I push my purse back onto my shoulder and stalk toward the large, tall, and brick building. Logan follows me running an agitated hand through his hair. I could care less about his nerves right now, I know it sounds harsh but this isn't my first time taking Logan to court. Let me change that, this is sadly not my first time taking Logan to court. If we got the same judge we normally do then he would probably get off with a third warning and a five hundred dollar fine.

We walk in and pass through the metal detectors. I see Rick standing by the receptionists desk and head over.

"Name," requests the girl sitting behind the bullet proof glass.

"Henderson, Logan," I tell her and she starts going through a binder.

"Court room 29, judge Christopher Brown," she tells me and Rick points me in the right direction. I drag Logan along with me and we enter the courtroom with three minuets to spare. The judge sees us come in, and am surprised to see the judge sitting at his podium.

"Ah, Mr. Henderson," announces Judge Brown glancing down at some papers he must have sitting in front of him. "Looks like you're my only case today. Nice to see you again Ms. Kross."

I grab Logan's arm and pulled him behind me as I walked toward the front of the court room. "Permission to approach?" I ask already walking forward.

"Permission granted," answers Christopher. I walk the rest of the way up and he looks down at me.

"Look, I want to be here as much as you do," I begin, "so can we charge this idiot over here with a five hundred dollar fine, not tell Nickelodeon, and put a permanent mark on his record?"

"I was thinking the same thing."

"Oh, and can I get my bail money back?"

"Yes, you can get your bail money back pick it up from the front desk when you leave and make Henderson pay then too."

In short I get my money back, Logan pays his fee for being an idiot and we get out of the court house. My phone starts buzzing as I'm pulling out on to the road. I tell Logan to get it out of my purse and hand it to me. He does so acting like he's defusing a ticking bomb. Without bothering to look at the caller ID I answer it and hold the phone up to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Alex?" asks Kendall's voice.

"Speaking, what do you need?"

"I was wondering when you were coming home."

"I'm on my way right now, probably be there in five."

"Good, and you've got a visitor."

"Who?"

"Uh, you'll find out when you get home." I hang up my head spinning, wondering who could be over. Handing my phone back to Logan he drops it into my purse and sets it on the floor by his feat. When I pull up the drive way there's a car sitting there that I don't recognize. I get out and head to the front door, Logan gets into his car and drives off. The front door is slightly ajar so now I'm kind of suspicious.

Two things happen. One, I walk into the house. Two, I see Kate kissing Kendall.

**(A/N) Sorry, I know this one is short like not even two full pages. But I wanted to update and will be working on updating again asap. I've got school starting soon so I'm not going to be able to update very often. Sorry in advance for that. Hope you like and will bare with me on the short chapters and unreliable updating pattern.**

**Love,**

**Taylor**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty-Five

_Recap: Two things happened. One, I walked into the house. Two, I saw Kate kissing Kendall._

"It is not what it looks like," yells Kendall pushing Kate half-way across the living room. I cover my face with my hands. After around five seconds like that I look up holding back, not tears, but blind anger.

"Hi Alex," smiles Kate stepping forward. She hasn't changed at all. Shoulder length black hair, blue eyes, and same dying passion to fuck my entire life up.

"Take one step toward me or Kendall and you will regret it," I seethe grinding my teeth.

"Oh so scary," laughs Kate, "you're supposed to scare me Alex? Okay, you did just catch your boyfriend kissing another girl, I'll play along. Oh, please don't hurt me." She laughs again shrill and high. Her voice grates on my nerves.

"Alex don't," warns Kendall taking a caution filled step toward me. I don't listen to him and run forward kicking Kate square in the chest. Sending her flying backwards into the couch, gasping for breath. I narrow the distance between us and stare down at my former friend. Anger clouding my judgment and eyes.

"I can't believe you just did that," gasps Kate sitting up.

"And I can't believe you had the nerve to kiss my boyfriend." I raise my fist to punch her in the jaw when Kendall grabs my arm.

"You," he snaps at Kate, "get out and if I ever see you come around here again I'm not holding her back." The still out of breath girl lifts herself off the couch and half limps half runs out the front door. A few seconds later I hear the engine of her car start up and it tears out of the drive way. No doubt leaving black, skid marks from the tires.

The blind anger and adrenalin that had been surging through my body moments ago leaves and I crash. Literally my eyes snap shut and I fall backwards into Kendall. He catches me and sets me down on the couch. I start to wake up form the small black out spell.

"You okay?" he asks me, twirling a chunk of my hair between his fingers.

"No," I remark sitting up, "what the hell happened?" Kendall takes a deep breath, lets it out, and kisses me on the forehead before answering.

"Kate came over about twenty minuets ago. I don't know why I let her in. She said that she wanted to talk to you and asked if she could wait inside. I said yes and that's exactly what she did. Then I called you. When you pulled up the driveway she got up walked over to me and right before you walked in she kissed me." He explains and I pull my legs up onto the couch, tucking them beneath me.

"She planned it that way," I softly confirm, "she wanted to make me think the worst, but I'll believe you before her any day." Closing my eyes, I turned my face into his chest.

"I should have guessed that," Kendall scolds himself harshly rubbing his eyes. "I should not have let her in here."

"It's not your fault," I say running a hand through his hair, making it stand on end, when it doesn't fall back down I play with the soft spikes. "Kate has this funny way of manipulating people."

"I still don't like that girl," he confesses, "she needs to stop fucking with you."

"You don't think I know that?" I ask half-way to Kendall half-way to myself. "I should have cut all ties with her once she blew up the last time I visited her. The only person I can blame for her intrusion in our life is me."

"You know when I signed up to be your boyfriend I signed up for the good, the bad, and your past," Kendall tells me kissing my forehead.

"Yeah," I agree, "but I bet you never imagined it would be this fucked up."

"No," starts Kendall, "I never imagined that a girl as wonderful as you would have had the past that you did and the ghosts from it that still haunt you today."

"Insightful," I complement before adding my opinion to his thoughtful statement, "I'm not wonderful. I have anger issues. I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown." Kendall stops me there.

"Anger issues that we're fixing. You haven't slapped Kristy in two days, that's an improvement. The mental breakdown, well I just wont let you get that far." He addresses, kissing my forehead again.

"I don't want to slap Kristy any more," I agree, "I want to get my forty-four from the closet and blow her full of twenty rounds."

"And you can do that as many times as you want in your head," Kendall compromises, "you have a very twisted imagination I'm sure you could make that work."

"You know what really sucks," I ask, "the fact that I haven't even written the first sentence of the second book."

"You'll get it done," my boyfriend assures me smiling, "at some point in your life. Even then you'll be rushing to finish the last sentence just so the publishing house wont drop you."

"Eh, you're probably right," I mutter absently, interlocking my fingers with Kendall's. My phone buzzes signaling that a text message has been sent. Shifting on the couch I grab the now vibrating phone out of my jeans pocket and unlock the screen. The message says that it's from Logan. I open it up and read.

**Logan:** The hierarchy has found out that I got arrested for disorderly public conduct and chewed me out for half an hour. Good news is I didn't get fired.

**Me: **You deserved the lecture on being a good roll model. It's good that they didn't fire you. Are they making sure the press doesn't find out?

**Logan: **They were on that before they ripped me a new asshole.

**Me: **Well that's good, your fans don't need to see any pictures of you dancing on bar tables holding a bottle of whiskey and can of beer.

**Logan:** Yeah, the worst they get are drunk tweets.

**Me: **Logan the only time you tweet is if you're drunk or illegally smoking some of your stash. Which by the way I need to get rid of.

**Logan: **If you touch my stash I am going to have to hurt you.

**Me:** I'm still trying to figure out where your stash is, so don't worry, yet.

**Logan: **Got to go I've got a friend over.

The way that Logan's text reads I know that he has a girl over.

**Me: **What did I tell you about one night stands?

**Logan: **Got to go A, we'll talk later.

I slide my phone back into my pocket shaking my head. Will that boy ever learn? I've officially decided that I'm going to tape a sign to his back that says: Don't Go Out With Me, I Don't Know How To Maintain A Stable Relationship.

**(A/N) Sorry, I know this is very short and that I took so long to update. But here it is and I'll be working on updating asap. It might take me awhile so, I'll apologize in advance for that. But if I'm good, I'll try and get another chapter up later on today or tomorrow. Don't count on it, but I'll try.**

**Love,**

**Taylor**


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty-Six

I'm sitting on the couch with my laptop. It's open and a blank Word document lights up the screen. Layla sits next to me sleeping. My phone starts ringing and I'm thankful for the distraction. I've been sitting like this for close to twenty minuets, writers block clogging the creative part of my mind.

"Hello?" I ask into the phone, drumming my fingers on the armrest of the chair as I wait for the person on the other end to answer.

"Alex?" asks Lauren's voice. She sounds like she had been crying.

"What's wrong?" I quickly ask, worried, "whose hurt?"

"Can you come over?" is all she asks, holding back what sounds like another sob.

"Yeah," I answer, already off the couch and looking for my other shoe as I hold the phone to my ear and pull on a sweatshirt.

"Thanks, get over here soon," replies Lauren, sounding slightly relieved.

"I'm grabbing my keys and getting into the car," I answer her before hanging up and starting the car. It takes me under five minuets to drive to Lauren's house. It normally takes ten but I was breaking quite a few speed limits.

Lauren's sitting on the porch when I pull up. Her head is in her hands. I don't know where Amanda is but right now I'm glad that she wasn't seeing her mother like this. After parking the car I basically jump out and run over to Lauren. She doesn't even pick her head up when I call her name.

"Lauren!" I yell for the third time standing right next to her. "Lauren! Talk to me!" She shakes her head, blonde curls falling over her face. I stomp my foot in frustration and sit down next to her. Wrapping an arm around my friend's shaking shoulders I try a gentler approach.

"Does this have anything to do with James?" I ask wanting to cover the looming subject first. This time I try and wait patiently for her to answer before asking another question.

"No," she mumbles, "nothing at all." I let a breath go that I hadn't known I was holding. That was a weight lifted.

"Does it have something to do with Amanda?" I ask next, trying to cover all main topics she could be crying about. "Main question here, where is Amanda?"

"It doesn't have anything to with Amanda and she's in the house watching Big Time Rush," Lauren answers me. Now, I'm slightly puzzled and only have one question left to ask.

"Did you do something?" now Lauren looks up. Her eyes are red and inflamed from crying.

"What?" she asks and I know that she's avoiding my question.

"Did you do something?" I repeat more slowly resting my hand on her shoulder. "Something happened to make you fall apart like this, you can tell me. Trust me Lauren there is nothing you can say to surprise me. I've heard it all." She glances over at me, reaches behind her and hands me a wad of printed off emails. I take the papers and start sifting through them.

"Read a few of them," Lauren instructs me and I pick the one on top. My eyes skim the page.

"Please tell me you didn't try to get in contact with Brian again," I almost whine. Brian was Lauren's abusive, psychologically fucked up, ex-boyfriend. She broke up with him when she met James which would be around ten years ago. The guy was no good for her and it had taken James, me, and the other three guys two years to get her back to what would be considered normal. Since then Lauren, being the kindhearted person she was, has tried contacting him three times to say that she forgave him for all the shit he did to her. No one understood her reasoning. Especially because each time she did it this happened.

For the fourth time now, Lauren was going to have to change the phone numbers, her email, locks, and possibly credit cards.

"When this thought came into your head for the fourth time, you didn't think about what happened the last time?" I ask her, "What did I tell you, what did everyone tell you?"

"I felt like I had to make sure he was okay," she feebly argues and I shake my head. Lauren's compassion was one of her best and worst qualities. So was her empathy. It didn't always work in her best benefit.

"No, Lauren," I begin repeating what I've told her one two many times. "You do not, and I repeat do not, need to make sure that man is okay. Whats ever wrong with him he has brought it on himself. Does James know about this?" Lauren doesn't answer me and I know her answer. "You haven't told him yet, have you?" She shakes her head in response.

"You don't get it," Lauren mumbles almost to herself.

"No, I don't," I agree, "I've never tried forgiving those who have done everything in their power to hurt me." I pull out my phone, Lauren looks over at me as I dial James' number. Amanda comes outside as the phone starts ringing. I usher her inside before she sees Lauren the way she is.

"Hello?" asks James' voice from my phone.

"It's Alex, can you get off work like right now?" I ask getting straight to the point.

"Why, what's wrong?" he asks sounding worried.

"Lauren, just ask Scott if you can leave now. It's an emergency." I answer and watch Amanda sit back down on the couch waiting for James to respond.

"Is she hurt?"

"Not physically, just get over here. I'm at your house."

"I'll be there in five. I'm already in the car. I'll call Scott once I'm on the road and tell him why I left."

I hang up. Tell Amanda to stay inside and watch daddy be stupid on the TV. Then head back out to watch for James and sit with Lauren. I shut the front door and sit back down next to her on the steps. After glaring at a set of joggers who were turning to stare, I wrap an arm around my friend.

I hear a car pull up the driveway, assume it's James, and look up. I was right and watch him get out of the car and jog over. At first he seems lost for words. I'm about to say something for him when he manages to gather his thoughts and forms a complete thought.

"What is wrong?"

I hand him the printed off emails. Like I had, James sifts through them not bothering to read any of the words. "Read one," I instruct him and he does.

"Why Lauren?" he asks defeated. "I'm tired of going through this." His words surprise me and I cock an eyebrow.

"We can throw out how hard it is for us to deal with this after we get Lauren to stop crying." I tell him firmly and James shakes his head. I know exactly how he's feeling. But I also know enough to not say anything about it until Lauren's stable.

"This is the fourth time Alex," he whispers, "I just can't figure out why she does this to herself." Amanda going against what I told her, comes running out the front door. The original smile that was on her face minuets ago gone. I wonder if shes heard anything.

"Amanda," I begin, "what did I tell you? Go back in the house."

"Aunt Alex, dad," she starts in a tone I've never heard her use. It sounds like I did when I was her age, solemn and distant. "Don't hide anything from me. I know something's wrong with mom and I want to know what. Just because you save your conversation for after I've gone to bed doesn't mean I don't here them."

Both James and I are taken by surprise. My jaw even drops slightly. Lauren doesn't even seem to react. Now that I see that Lauren's actions are inflicting pain on her daughter I'm done being the nice, tip-toeing on feelings, best friend. I don't care what Lauren or James thinks of me after this but I will now allow Lauren to bring Amanda down with her in her spiral of craziness.

"Look Lauren," I almost snap, she looks up at me disoriented, "pull yourself together. Forget about Brian. Burn the emails and the memories. Change locks, email address, phone numbers, I don't care what but make sure Brian is cut out of your life again. I swear if you ever contact that man again I will be the last person you will want to call." I take a breath and then finish my lecture, "you have a wonderful family, a pretty good life, leave Brian out of it. He has nothing to do with it. So burn the phone numbers, burn the email addresses, burn anything of his that you might have. Even burn the damn memories."

All three of them are staring at me. They've all seen me blow up before, just never toward someone I'm close with. Lauren has stopped crying and actually is making an attempt at saying something.

"Yell at me if you have to," I encourage her. Some times yelling at someone who is trying to help you or has just done what I just did helps. Lauren shakily stands up and harshly wipes her eyes. Her next actions surprise me. I was expecting to get slapped. Instead she hugs me, lets go and picks up Amanda who still has a blank expression on her face. She hugs her daughter and I turn to James.

"It had to be done," I tell him heading for my car. "Make sure she doesn't do anything stupid." James follows me.

"Thank you," he mutters and I turn to him after opening my door.

"I meant it when I said burn everything. Literally light a fire burn phone numbers, email addresses, house addresses, memories everything. Burn it all." I don't wait for him to answer before climbing into the car and driving off.

I was going to have a lot of explaining to do when Kendall got home.

**(A/N) Sorry I've took so long to update. Really I am. I'm just so busy, anyway hope you liked. If you're down here you've apparently read the chapter, so thanks a lot! Review if you want, and if any of my readers have any questions feel free to message me. If you have an account I will message you back if there is a question to answer. **

**So, thank's for reading. I can't promise an update soon but I can promise an update, so don't worry. If anyone has any suggestions or ideas that they think I should take a look at leave them in a review or message. If you haven't yet check out my other story Upside Down. For those of you who don't know I update that one every Wednesday and am pretty good a doing so. I think that it's pretty good but that could just be bias because I'm the writer.**

******Again this is one of the longest authors note I've written, sorry I ramble. Anyway, if you've read this far thanks for bothering to take the time to.**

******Much Love,**

******Taylor**


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty-Seven

"Why did James leave work early with out telling anyone?" Kendall asks me as he paces the living room floor. I'm sitting crossed legged on the couch watching him. "Come on Alex," he persuades agitated, "tell me."

"Promise not to yell?" I ask him and he stops pacing for a second to look at me.

"Are you going to give me a reason to?"

"It wasn't my fault, but you have a bad reputation of shooting the messenger," I state glancing up at him, cocking one eyebrow.

"I'm not going to yell Alex, okay? Just please tell me because James won't pick up his damn phone."

"Well it's not him," I begin stalling for a split second because I know that it won't last long, "Lauren tried contacting Brian again. She made contact and well you know what happens after that. But I know that she won't be doing that ever again."

"What the hell is her!" begins Kendall raising his voice way above yelling. I manage to keep mine calm.

"What did you promise not to do?" I ask in my stern voice the one I used way too much while on tour.

"Fuck, Alex, sorry for getting angry," he says keeping his angered tone under control. "Why the fuck did Lauren have to contact that God damn asshole?"

"Okay," I start, "one the vulgar language needs to go. Two, I don't know why Lauren contacted Brian. Again do not shoot the messenger especially when the messenger is your girlfriend."

Two Days Later

The last person I'm expecting to call me at twelve in the afternoon is Scott. Once again I'm sitting on the couch, laptop open in front of me, blank word document staring my writers block in eye. Kendall's been at work since five so I've been sitting here since eight and am bored, slightly pissed, and want someone to talk to. That someone wasn't Scott calling about why James is being distant and moody. I don't know why he wasn't calling Lauren and didn't ask.

It was my turn to play the wonderful game of whose going to answer the phone when Alex calls. Picking up my cellphone, I dial Lauren's number. Five times to be exact. She picks up for none of them. Each time I don't get an answer and have to hang up to a machine the more angry I get. No, I wasn't getting angry I was getting furious. Why the hell was no one picking up their phones?

Officially pissed off now, I throw my phone across the room startling Layla. I yell, "sorry!" after her as she darts out of the room. I was lucky that my phone case was good quality because the impact of hitting the wall with out one would have spider-ed the screen. Sighing I get up and retrieve my out dated electronic. Five minuets later no one has bothered to call me back and I've started to worry.

It's twelve thirty at night and I'm still waiting up. I'm on my third mug of black coffee and cracked a beer. I've down half of both by the time Kendall and James come stumbling through the door either half drunk or dead tired. I stand up setting my coffee down, and head over to them.

"And no one was answering their phones today why?" I scream, thinking that I'm as tall as my boyfriend and his friend.

"Calm down Alex," James slurs. I still can't tell if he's drunk or dead on his feet. At this point I don't really care. Kendall's leaning against the front door. Probably trying to blend into the paint. It doesn't work to his advantage.

"What do I say about calling if your going to stay past nine?" Neither of them answer so I do for them, "I tell you to call! You wanna know why? Because I worry about you!"

"Alex calm down, please?" asks Kendall, trying to get his barrings on the situation.

"When does asking me to calm down ever work?" I yell. before turning on James, who in my opinion should be home with his wife and kid. But I don't know maybe I'm old fashioned and spending time with your family just isn't as important than getting yelled at by me.

"And you. Why the hell are you over here? It's the third time this week. Don't you think Lauren needs you at home? Especially after what happened!"

Kendall turns to James, "just tell her man. She might calm down."

"Tell me what?" I say trying to calm myself down in order to receive information that may be important. For the first time that night I actually look at the both of them and realize that they are both extremely tired, worn out, and barley keeping it together. At that point I wish that I could just take the last five minuets back. Being a full blown bitch was certainly not the right thing to do right now. Stepping back I let them walk more than a few inches into the house.

"Okay," I begin changing my voice and demeanor completely. They don't look at me surprised. Calming down like that is the closet I've ever really gotten to apologizing and they don't expect much more. "Blowing up was not the right thing to do and I'm honestly very sorry. Come on sit down and James, you can tell me whatever it is you need to tell me, alright?"

They walk in and sit down on either side of the couch, leaving the center open for me. Sitting down I think about getting up for beer then realize that doing that was not going to fix whatever problem I managed to make worse. James is staring at his hands, and Kendall finishes off my coffee. Maybe it'll give him some sort of quick buzz to bring him back to reality. Taking the empty cup I head to the kitchen, deciding to leave the both of them to their thoughts a little longer, I make everyone in my living room, including me, fresh hot coffee. The two guys take it gratefully and I sit back down, hoping James will start the conversation off instead of me.

"Alright," I say softly, "what is it that I need to know?" He doesn't answer. "Does this have anything to do with Lauren contacting Brian?" if it's even possible, James sits even stiller than before and Kendall reacts to my question by looking up at the ceiling.

"Alex, please, not tonight," mutters James suddenly, his voice low. I put a hand on his shoulder and he looks over at me.

"What happened after I left?" At first I don't expect him to answer me since he resumes staring at his hands. Then he does.

"I thought that you might have just yelled some sense in to her," he mutters absently before really answering me why for the last three nights he's been over here. "Lauren contacted Brian again that night. I found out and we got into this huge fight. Honestly I'm not sure how much Amanda heard. She kicked me out. I haven't been able to get in touch with her since. She may have turned her phone off."

Wrapping an arm around James' shoulders, I'm extremely mad again. Not at him or Kendall, they've done nothing wrong. At least that I know of. After telling James that he can have the guest room for as long as he needs a place to stay, I go to bed. It's not long before Kendall joins me. James had made me promise one thing: to not go see Lauren. Well, tomorrow, I was breaking that promise.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty-Eight

I'm in my car, going twenty over the speed limit, on my way to Lauren's house. Before I get there I see that her car is in the driveway. Yes, Lauren is one of my closest friends. One of my only friends actually. But that's not the point. James is like my big brother and when someone fucks with me he sets them straight. I've got the same protectiveness, I guess that's what you'd call it, over him. Someone fucks with him, well let's just say you do not want to be on my bad side. Why: because I will hunt you down. I've done it before and almost got arrested. Apparently you're not allowed to shoot assholes and it's wrong to threaten them with a shot gun.

Again, that's not the point. Yes, I will get to it. I guess what I'm trying to say is: I don't care how close a friend you are you mess with one of my boys and all hell will break loose. Lauren needs to be set straight and I just cannot, for the life of me, figure out how to set her that way. I mean how many times can you try and make peace with the asshole that made you attempt suicide? The scares on Lauren's wrists were caused by a cut much deeper than mine.

Clearing my head, I pull into the driveway. Parking bumper to bumper with her car. The last thing I was going to let her do was leave. Lauren was going to hear me out whether or not she wanted to. I just hoped that James could forgive me for going against my promise. It sounds stupid, but I'd never heard him sound that serious. If it was up to me he'd never know I was here but my luck just wasn't that good.

Lauren doesn't answer the door when I knock. I hadn't expected her to. About five minuets later I'm wailing on the door screaming at her to open it. No doubt this is going to end up on the internet because some asshole caught it on tape. My sixth punch ends up denting the door. That's the bad news the good news is she finally opens the door. I storm into the house.

"Alex!" she screams, "you dented my fucking door! Why the hell are you over here?" I don't even try to not yell because you know what, trying to not yell just does not work.

"Lauren!" I scream back, "why the fuck did you contact Brian again and kicking James out because he has a problem with it? You really need to get your priorities straight!" She doesn't miss a beat with her next come back.

"When did I ask you to stick your nose into my business? This is my life! My family! Stay out of it!"

"Your business became something for me to stick my nose in when we became friends! I do not know why you seem to think that holding on to an evil you have the opportunity to let go of completely is the right thing to do! Brian is not part of your life anymore! Stop trying to pull him back in!"

"What if Brian isn't the problem?" she yells, catching me off guard. Lauren really had gone off the deep end. "What if the problem is every one trying to keep me from him?"

"If you want to go running back to the motherfucker who made you attempt suicide be my guest," I seethe, "but if you think that you are dragging Amanda and James down with you, you are in for a rude awaking."

"This is my family! My life! Alex, and you have nothing to say when it comes to James and Amanda."

"That is where you are completely wrong! First you have no right, no damn right to be fucking your kid up the way you are! Second the moment you got in a relationship with James everything you did concerning his well being and him not being taken for granted became my problem! Why, because unlike him I will not stand and watch as something falls apart before my eyes again!"

"What do you mean again?"

"Does it look like your problem? Just answer this one question for me. Are you going to contact Brian again?"

"Yes."

"Is Amanda here?"

"Why?"

"Is Amanda here?"

"Yes."

"Amanda!" I yell she comes running down the stairs, "you wanna see daddy?"

"Yes," she answers walking over to me, "can mommy come?"

"No," I answer, "mommy needs to get her thoughts straight. You're coming with me." Amanda's eyebrows knit together.

"Is something wrong?"

"I promise to explain later, honey, just come with me right now okay?" Amanda runs over to me and I pick her up. All Lauren does is watch as the events roll out in front of her. I leave the house with Amanda.

"Did I do something wrong?" asks Amanda as I'm pulling up the drive way. Scott had granted James a few weeks off work to sort things out, so his car was parked in the drive way.

"No," I answer firmly, "you've done nothing wrong and never let yourself to think that either. Okay? Promise Aunt Alex that you will never blame yourself for anything that happens between your parents because it is not your fault."

"Okay, I promise," replies Amanda, "can I see daddy now? Why hasn't he been home?"

"Right now, and that isn't for me to answer."

I pull my phone out and text him:

**Me: **Hey, don't kill me for this.

**James: **What did you do?

**Me: **Promise not to kill me?

**James: **That depends, what did you do?

**Me: **No, you have to promise to not kill me first.

**James: **Fine I promise to not kill you. Now what did you do Alex?

**Me: **Well, on a good note, Lauren's not dead.

**James: **Why would she be dead?

**Me: **Oh, I don't know because I own a gun and she's not dead because I didn't have it with me.

**James: **You went over there? I thought I told you last night that I wanted you to stay away from her.

**Me: **On another good note, I've got Amanda with me. She misses you.

**James: **Please tell me you didn't kidnap my kid.

**Me: **Oh, Lauren watched the whole thing. Amanda came with me out of her own free will.

James doesn't respond so I slip the phone back into my pocket and open the car door. Amanda does the same, slamming hers shut. I pick her up and walk into the house. James meets us at the front door. Amanda runs over to him, latching onto his legs. For the first time in a while I see him actually smile.

It makes me think of two things. One, Lauren is not going to fuck with James anymore than she already has. Two, Amanda will be staying here for a while.


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Okay after the extremely long wait Money Fame Glamour is back! I really hope that everyone following this hasn't lost interest in the story. If you like my writing check out my new Drama/Romance Twisted By Fate. The first two chapters are up and I'd love to know how people are liking it.**

**Until Next Time,**

**Taylor**

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Two Weeks Later

Absolutely nothing got better. James was still using our guest room and I had set Amanda up on the couch. She didn't understand why mommy hadn't seen her or called and I was running out of explanations. It started out with me coming up with excuses on why Lauren hadn't been around. Kendall too couldn't figure out another new, believable reason.

James figured that Lauren had either turned off the home phone or cut the line. No matter who called the land-line wasn't answered. I knew for a fact that her cell phone didn't work. The woman had thrown it against a wall, cracking the electronic in two. The land-line number either came up disconnected or busy. At one point Amanda quit asking.

I even took Amanda shopping when it came time for her to go to school on Monday. That had gotten her in better spirits. Twenty new outfits and around fifteen pairs of shoes, would make any girl happy. Kendall freaked when he saw the credit card bill though. I caught his reaction on camera. Apparently, even when you have money, spending over five hundred dollars on clothes for one person is too much.

I was in the middle of making dinner when Amanda comes running into the kitchen. She slides on the hard wood floor since all she has on her feet are socks. Taking the spoon out of the pot I turn around to look at her.

"You go into the cabinet and pick out what vegetable you want with dinner tonight," I tell her pointing toward the pantry with my wooden spoon. Instead of protesting, like I thought she would, Amanda goes over opens the doors and comes walking back holding two cans.

"Corn," she answers handing both cans to me. Next I instruct her to get me a pot. I loved having a five-year-old running around my house. All I had to do was ask Amanda to get me something and she did.

"We've had corn the last two nights," I remind her as I dump Amanda's favorite yellow vegetable into the pot.

"I know," replies Amanda, "I like corn."

"I'm not going to complain. At least I can get you to eat a vegetable."

"Exactly," says Amanda as she goes to sit down at the kitchen table. She had been coloring this morning and I decided to leave the crayons and coloring books out. Turns out I had been smart to do so since she resumes coloring, what I'm fairly sure is, a dog hot pink.

The timer on the oven starts beeping startling both of us. Turning it off I grab a hot pad and open the oven door. Pulling the chicken out, I set it down on the stove's top and turn to look at Amanda. I was waiting for her daily question. Even though I didn't know how to answer it I still waited for Amanda to ask about her mother. I just wished that either James, Kendall or I could come up with a way to explain everything to the five-year-old with out her getting too confused.

When my cell phone rings I'm expecting it to be Kendall or James calling to say that Amanda and I should start eating with out them since Scott was having them work late. For this reason, I don't bother checking the caller ID and am very surprised to hear Lauren's voice on the other end.

"Alex?" I almost drop the phone when I do hear Lauren's voice. It takes me more than a few seconds to get my thoughts straight and respond. The one thing I was going to try and not do was get angry enough to yell.

"Speaking," I answer keeping my voice as even as possible.

"You're not going to hang up on me are you?" The question bothers me for what should be obvious reasons yet I respond anyway.

"I should be the one asking you that question. You're the one who has disconnected herself from everybody, Lauren, not me."

"Alright before we start pointing blame, can you at least hear me out?" I just wished that she would stop with the questions and get to the point. I'd walked out of the kitchen hoping that Amanda wouldn't bother listening in on my phone conversation and was worried that something was going to boil over on the stove.

"As long as you make it quick. I've got dinner on the stove and don't need it to become inedible." Lauren seems to consider my parameters. While she does I eye the stove from where I'm standing in the living room. Everything looks fine and I begin to wait for Lauren to answer me.

"I know that I've been stupid and a horrible person and that I don't deserve this but can I talk to Amanda?"

"Why?" I ask, "so you can get her hopes up that she might see you again? I'll let you talk to Amanda but if you're going to literally drop out of her life again then it might be best for her if she didn't hear your voice. And just so you know, James is worried sick about you. If you don't wake up and realize what you're doing now, then you are going to hit rock bottom and no one will be there to pick you back up. Don't destroy what you have, Lauren, because of someone you can't seem to let go of."

She's silent for a minute and I wonder if Lauren hung up on me. "Never mind." After hearing those words I want to jump through the phone and strangle Lauren.

"Maybe you should try to reconnect with Brian," I snap bitterly, "both of you seem to know exactly how to mark up lives." With that I hear Lauren hang up. I barely have time to glare angrily at my phone because Amanda is informing me that stuff on the stove is bubbling.

After cleaning up the water that had boiled over onto the floor I convince Amanda to put her coloring things away and get ready for dinner. By the time I'm setting out plates Kendall and James are walking through the door. Two weeks to adapt and I'm still not used to living with two guys and a kid. Even though I did bring it on myself.

When dinner is done, and I have both Kendall and James washing dishes, I send Amanda upstairs to go find Layla. I needed to talk with James about Lauren and didn't need Amanda listening in. Having her search for the puppy would keep both of them occupied for a while.

"Guess who called today?" I ask while stacking plates in the cupboard. James shrugs and Kendall doesn't bother to acknowledge the fact that I had just asked a question.

"I don't know, who?" finally asks Kendall who had just finished drying the pile of dishes in the sink.

"Lauren," I answer and wait for their reactions. They both just look at me not knowing what to say. James breaks the silence.

"What did she want?"

"To talk to Amanda."

"Did you let her?" James asks back and I'm not sure of the answer he wants.

"I was going to, but asked her a couple questions first and then she hung up on me."

"Apparently nothing has changed," remarks Kendall. We both watch James. After everything between Lauren and Brian he had changed. I wasn't sure if it was permanent, and hoped that it wasn't.

The inevitable really hung in the air right now. Either James was going to have to cut Lauren out of his and Amanda's life or loose himself trying to fix everything Lauren had broken.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty

I really hadn't meant to bring it up but the words just escaped my lips before I had the chance to filter them through my head. In the end, maybe telling James that he needed to start thinking about getting a divorce lawyer was the best advice I could have given him. As much as I didn't want to loose a friend saying that James should divorce Lauren was what was best for him and Amanda.

Now, I was trying to set up plans to take Amanda out so that she couldn't over here when the divorce lawyer, James had called, came over. Kendall, James and I all knew that keeping Amanda in the dark was not the right decision but right now she didn't need to know everything. No child wants to hear that it's possible they won't see one of their parents again.

Even if a judge thought that joint custody was the right decision I'd run against them. I'd seen what Lauren's emotions could do to her. Any one who thought that she should be caring for a child, on her own, was completely mad. Yes, Lauren was a great mother when not around Brian or things associated with Brian.

I'm at the point to where I want to fucking kill Brian. Not only is he fucking up James' and Amanda's lives, along with Lauren who is a complete emotional wreck but he has managed to make my life a lot harder. I now have a five-year-old to worry about and two other mouths to cook for. I'm not complaining necessarily it was just a lot of work to take on all at once. I can't believe that people tell me that I'm not a nice person. For the last two weeks I think that I've ranked in the saint category.

"Aunt Alex!" calls Amanda from the living room making me look up from the laptop screen. "Come here!"

"Give me a second, honey," I reply as I save the ten page document I had managed to type up for my second book. "Did you see something else you want on TV?"

Pushing the dining room chair out I get up and head toward the living room. Amanda is standing in the center of the room pointing at the television screen. Taking my reading glasses off I sit down on the couch and turn my focus to the news program. The reporter was standing with a microphone and film crew in front of Amanda's house. Soundless sirens flashed while paramedics and the police occupied the scene.

_Lauren Paisley Maslow was found beaten in her home around six o' clock this evening. Her neighbor had noted a disturbance and called the police. When they arrived the front door was open and blood spotted the steps._

_The investigation is still in its early stages and not much information has been released to the public. The police have said that when Lauren wakes up she is the first person they will be talking to._

The screen changes and I work on wrapping my mind around what I had just heard. Amanda was sitting next to me and I wondered about what she had understood. At the very least she knew that her mother's name had just been announced on TV and it wasn't for something happy or remotely good. Amanda looks over at me and I have trouble gauging the question she was going to ask.

"What's wrong with my mom?" I'm not caught by surprise I just don't have an answer. Amanda seems to figure that I don't know how to answer her question and doesn't repeat it.

"I don't know but if you want to go visit her in the hospital I'll take you."

"Can we go right now?" Amanda seems excited at the possibility of seeing her mother even though the circumstances were what they were. I managed to find the hospital Lauren was in, get Amanda to put a jacket on and find my keys in under half an hour. Even then the five-year-old was waiting for me by the door as I ran around pulling my own jacket on while turning off lights.

After being questioned by the nurse at the front desk for a longer than reasonable amount of time, she gives us directions to Lauren's room. Amanda bounds fairly happily behind me down the brightly lit halls. Once we reach Lauren's ER room I stop Amanda from barging in and pull out my phone. By now Kendall would be wondering where I was and James had the right to know what was going on with Lauren, if he didn't already. News traveled fast in L.A. especially if you were famous.

"Have you seen the news today?" is the question I ask right after Kendall answers the phone.

"What, Alex? No," it seems to take him a second to wrap his mind around the question and who was calling.

"Has James seen the news today?" I ask next leaning against the wall. Amanda was pulling on my arm, trying to get me to go into the hospital room.

"No," he answers, "if I haven't seen the news today that normally means James hasn't seen the news either. What did you see? Pictures of Logan drunk get leaked again?"

"Worse," I reply, "where are you at and is James with you?"

"We're heading to the house right now. We left at the same time and I'm already half-way there. Why? And before you ask we both drove separate cars today."

"Call James and both of you head to St. Mary's General Hospital, now."

"Why, what happened?" Kendall sounds worried now.

"Amanda and I are fine. It's Lauren, Amanda had been watching the news again, and I'll explain what I can when you get here."


End file.
